Study Buddies
by maraudergrl3
Summary: James and Lily were study buddies before the incident by the lake. After ignoring him for the beginning of sixth year, Lily realizes she needs James' help to pass Transfiguration. James decides to use this opportunity to make amends and try to woo the girl of his dreams. Jily.
1. Of Banging Bodies and Snowball Fights

**AN: Hello! A few things to note before you begin: **

**1\. This story takes place predominantly during the marauders sixth year (and goes through the summer and beginning of seventh year) but each chapter will begin with some sort of flashback from another year (or possibly from earlier on in sixth year). The main story will carry out chronologically but the flashbacks will be random and will be somewhat related to something within the main plot. **

**2\. It will mostly be through James' POV (third person) although there might be a few flashbacks from others. Also, there are a few scenes from here I might rewrite in Lily's POV and have them as companion pieces to this, if that idea gets enough interest. **

**3\. This fic is rated 'T' for now but will most likely be changed to 'M' for a future chapter. I figured you should be warned ahead of time. **

**4\. I'm looking for a beta if anyone wants to help a girl out. I do my best editing but I get lazy and bored.**

**Ok, I think that's it! Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

o0o0o0o

James knew he should have sat next to Evans again. The fourth year glanced at the red head in the front of the class, textbook out and quill writing furiously, no doubt already starting the homework. She was able to master the spell on her first try, as she was wont to do in Charms. James Potter, on the other hand, was failing miserably at the 'accio' spell. No matter what he tried it on, nothing really felt like zooming toward him the way it was supposed to.

Much to his chagrin, after Professor Flitwick forced James to sit next to Evans last year after an… _accident_ in class, James wound up doing excellent in the class. Not only did he not have Sirius to distract him, but she was always willing to help him whenever he couldn't do something. Even when James realized Evans was fun to pull pranks on and would harass the poor girl on a weekly basis, she still would coach him through whatever charm was ailing him. This year, with him in his usual backseat and her shining brightly in the front, he was back to struggling.

Not that James Potter ever _struggled_ with magic. In fact, he was easily in the running for top of their year. But charms was something that didn't come as easily to him as other subjects. And he was _not_ used to something being _not_ easy.

Her dark red hair fell in front of her face as she sat hunched over her parchment. When Marlene nudged her, asking for help, she finally looked up and quickly tucked her hair behind her ears. Evans grabbed her neighbor's wrist and did the motions with her. James remembered how she would do that all the time last year. The first time she latched onto him, he was shocked at the contact but he soon realized that was just who she was. She was a very take-charge kind of girl, who didn't put up with any nonsense.

She also, James remembered with a churning in his stomach, was a very _handsy_ person. Although he would never consider whatever their relationship was as friends, he quickly learned that she was constantly touching, feeling, contacting people. Every finger stroke, hand hold, shoulder nudge would send fire through his body and he hated the way it made him feel. That was why the pranks started in the first place. But the venom in her voice and the way her green eyes would flash in anger only prompted him further.

"Whatcha looking at?" Sirius asked, breaking James out of his reverie. James looked at his shaggy haired friend, hoping he didn't look too guilty.

"Nothing," he muttered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Just thinking."

"Checking out Evans again?"

"I do not check out Evans," he cried indignantly, catching the attention of both Remus and Peter, James' other best friends.

Sirius chuckled. "Of course you don't. You just spend all your free time ogling at her banging body."

"Her body isn't banging," James protested, all too aware of how hot his face was becoming.

"I'm going to have to go with Sirius on this one," Remus chimed in. "She is pretty attractive."

"It seems like you lot are more interested in her than I am. Dunno why you're always taking the mickey out of me."

Remus gave him a piercing look and James suddenly felt very self-conscious. "_Do _you like Lily?" he asked.

"No," he said firmly. The three other boys looked at each other, shrugged, and then carried on with the summoning charm.

Getting frustrated at his lack of ability with the damn spell, James let his mind wander. It happened to wander to Evans. Again. He quickly peeked at her and noted that she was back to doing the homework. He couldn't understand how she was so bloody good at everything she did. James considered himself to be a very naturally talented wizard and didn't have to _try_ to get top marks. But Lily was just as smart as he was and even better at Charms and it just wasn't fair that a person could be so smart and so kind and so pretty. He really disliked her. Hated her even.

Not to mention she was friends with _Snivellus_, who was basically Satan himself. James had no idea what Evans saw in that pathetic excuse for a human. But, he supposed, that was what made her so Lily. She always saw the best in others and wouldn't let the opinion of others affect her own judgment of a person. Because she was just that perfect.

Really, James couldn't understand why his friends were always making fun of him about the girl. They didn't like each other. Hell, he could barely tolerate her. Sure, she was helpful last year when she would help him in class but he always felt so anxious whenever he was around her. There was no way he _liked_ her. That was just so wrong and weird.

James spent the rest of class musing on all the reasons he didn't like Lily to confirm to himself what he already knew that, no, he definitely did not have feelings for the snarky redhead. By the end of the lesson, he had successfully completed the charm a total of zero times and was given extra homework as a result.

"You couldn't do it once," Peter asked, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement. "Even I managed it!"

"Shut it, Pete," James muttered.

"Leave poor Jamesiepoo alone," Sirius said. "He was too distracted by the sexy ginger in the front to pay attention."

"I wasn't distracted by Evans," James exclaimed. How many times did they have to have this conversation?

"Then why were you staring at her for practically the entire class?"

"I was not staring." They gave him a look of disbelief. "I was just thinking about how much better I did in Charms when she would help me… Do you think she'd help me again this year?"

"I dunno, mate," Sirius said, clapping James on the back. "She seemed pretty ticked with you after you set that niffler in their dormitory."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

"It was three days ago."

"I've had other things on my mind!"

"Like the way Lily's red hair catches in the light, or—"

"Will. You. Stop."

The three boys laughed at James but didn't say anything more on the topic of Lily Evans. That is, until they passed her talking to a few of her friends in a corridor. James strained his ears to pick up on what the girls were saying.

"You can't be that bad Lily," Mary, another 4th year Gryffindor, said.

"It's definitely my worst subject, Mary. How embarrassing is it that Potter is better than I am?"

"He's really smart," Marlene added.

"I _know_ that but I don't like that he's better than me in something."

The four boys looked at each other with grins on their faces. The girls apparently hadn't seen them so they continued to talk about how smart James was. He didn't mind.

"Maybe you can ask McGonagall if she can give you extra credit or something," Mary asked.

"I'm not doing poorly enough to warrant extra credit. It's more of a pride issue than anything else."

"Maybe Potter can help you," Marlene smirked.

"Ew," Lily said. "Don't even joke like that."

Mary spoke up but at this point they were too far away again to hear what the girls were saying. James' heart sped up. Marlene gave him a brilliant idea. If Evans was struggling with Transfiguration, maybe they could help each other out. He didn't care what Sirius said about Evans hating him, she was too nice to refuse to help and if he was offering help in return…

"See, mate, she's talking about you too," Sirius joked.

"I'll meet you lot in the room," James said before rushing down the hall where the girls went. He figured they were either going to dinner or the library. Just as he was trying to figure out which way to turn, he was a glimpse of red hair and he ran after her.

"Evans!" he shouted. No response. "Hey! Evans!"

She turned around, her green eyes searching for whoever was calling her. When they landed on James, he could feel his body tense up as she watched him walk up to her. Now that he was there and talking to her, his mind seemed to have shut down and he couldn't remember why he sought her out in the first place.

"Yes, Potter," she asked, her voice as polite as she could muster.

"Er…"

She raised one of her eyebrows at him while he struggled to come up with words. Marlene and Mary giggled.

"I, er, couldn't help but overhear that you needed help with Transfiguration," he said.

Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "Are you eavesdropping on my conversations now?"

"What? No! I just heard you say something about not doing well and I wanted to let you know that I am brilliant at Transfiguration and am more than willing to help you."

"I don't need your help, Potter."

"Okay, but erm, what if we helped each other? You know, I help you with Transfig and you help me with Charms. I know how good you are in that class."

She stared at him, her bright green eyes narrowed as she thought it over.

"Is this your way of saying you need me to tutor you in Charms?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

After a horrible and excruciating pause, her face lit up as she beamed at him. James knew Evans was a smiley person, always laughing with her friends, but he had never personally been on the receiving end of a Lily Evans grin this big. His heart sputtered in his chest and he felt himself smiling back despite himself.

"Sure, Potter. We can be study buddies. I'll meet you in the library tonight at 7:30. Don't be late." And with a swish of her hair, she turned around and walked away with her friends. James stared at her retreating back, rooted to the spot. Her smile, he decided, was yet another thing he absolutely despised about Lily Evans.

o0o0o0o

James watched lazily as Peter and Sirius tried out Peter's new chess set. Remus was sitting next to Sirius, trying to help. It was Christmas break during their sixth year and there was barely a soul left in the castle. With the war getting more serious with every day that passed, people wanted to spend as much time with their families as possible. Remus's cycle happened to fall during their break, though, so they all agreed to stay at Hogwarts to be with him.

There were only three other Gryffindors who stayed this break: some random second year girl whose name James couldn't quite remember, fourth year Jeremy Biggins who played beater on the quidditch team and had a twin in Ravenclaw, and Lily Evans—the bane of James Potter's existence.

Ever since James was forced to sit next to Lily in Charms class back in third year, she had given him Christmas gifts. In third year she gave him a card that merely read 'Happy Christmas, Potter! May your holidays be _charming_ and bright!' He rolled his eyes when he read it but a grin appeared and he couldn't help but laugh at the cheesy pun. Fourth and fifth year she gave him a small bag of products from Zonko's, which both amused and surprised him. This year, it was nearly dinner time and he hasn't received anything from her. Not that he expected to, really. They had been on friendly terms previous years. This year she'd barely said two words to him.

Trying to distract himself from depressing thoughts, James reopened his book on Quidditch teams that Remus bought him. He rested his head against the arm of the cushy, red couch and brought his legs up, crossing them at the ankles.

"Oi, Prongs, help me out, yeah?" Sirius said.

"Padfoot," James said, not bothering to look up from his book, "I'm pretty sure even the three of us combined still won't be able to beat our little Wormy."

"Right, well you look a right mess so I was trying to get you to join your friends instead of sulking about because Evans didn't give you a present."

"I'm not sulking," he grumbled.

Remus smiled sympathetically. "If it makes you feel any better, Lily and I haven't exchanged presents yet either. There's still a chance she'll—"

"She's not giving me anything Moony and you know it," James snapped.

Ever since the incident by the lake, as he refers to it, Lily Evans has refused to speak, look, or even yell at James. He tried apologizing a few times but she wouldn't have any of it. They haven't had a proper conversation since their O.W.L.s, which was rather unfortunate for James as he was fairly certain he was in love with the girl.

"I've been trying to talk to her," Remus said. "You know how stubborn she can be."

"Yeah, whatever. If she doesn't want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to her."

"So, I shouldn't keep trying to talk you up to her," Remus asked, smirking.

"Sod off, Moony. I'm not in the mood for one of your knowing looks."

Sirius snorted at his friend. "You're a bit pathetic, mate," he told James.

"For once we actually agree on something, Black."

James jumped a bit at the sound of her voice and quickly sat up, running a hand nervously through his hair. In his haste, he accidentally dropped his book and hit his elbow against the side of the couch. His glasses hug crookedly off his ears but he didn't exactly care. "Evans," he said quickly. "Hi."

She looked at him amusedly, mocking his patheticness even further, and James thought he might actually puke. That was the first time she looked at him in _months_. Her eyes, he noticed, were still as stunning and bright as ever. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth was unreasonably dry and his mind unsurprisingly blank. And then much too soon but not soon enough, her gaze moved on and James could breathe again.

"Remus," she said, ignoring James' sad excuse of a greeting, "I haven't been able to catch you yet. Happy Christmas!" She reached into her bag and pulled out a huge basket that was much too large to be able to fit into the bag. He realized she must have put some sort of extension charm on the bag and he couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on his face at how clever the witch was.

"Bloody hell Lily," Remus laughed. "How much chocolate did you get me?"

"Well, I know how much you love chocolate and you always complain about your friends stealing from your stock. And you probably got enough books this Christmas."

"This is brilliant, really," he said sincerely, standing from his seat and wrapping his arms around her. James tried to bite down the pang of jealousy at the ease in which Remus could interact with her. It was his own damn fault he wasn't getting anything from Lily, not Remus'. "Here's yours. Happy Christmas."

Lily smiled at him before tearing the wrapping paper off. She looked down at the box before bursting out laughing. James couldn't see the box from where he was sitting but he knew Remus mentioned something about origami. "That's great, Remus. Thank you so much," she said, enveloping him in yet another hug. James tried to remind himself that since the one failed date the two went on, Lily and Remus have only ever seen each other as friends and nothing else.

"How has your break been so far," Remus asked.

"Oh, you know," she said, looking down at her hands, "pretty boring. I don't really have anyone to hang out with so I'm almost caught up with the work the professors assigned us already."

"You could always hang out with us," Remus offered. There was a very tense silence that followed his words. James looked anywhere but at Lily, refusing to see the look of disgust that he was sure was on her face.

"Maybe…" she said awkwardly. James snapped his attention to her. She was still looking down, playing with her hands. Her red hair was falling in her face, covering up the slight blush on her cheeks. He knew he should look away in case she caught him staring but now that he started, he couldn't bring himself to stop; she was beautiful.

"Okay, well think about it," Remus said. "Offer's always available."

Lily looked up and gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Remus, you're the best."

"Now that's cleared up, can we get food? Wormtail beat me again," Sirius said. Peter looked proud of yet another chess win. "You coming Evans?"

"Er…" she said, looking awkward and nervous again.

"You don't have to," James said, finally tearing his eyes away from her.

"No, I—I will," she said hesitantly. James found himself once again staring at her and she was looking right back at him. Again. He felt his face heating up under her gaze. "Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute, Potter."

"Me," he asked incredulously. His heart was pounding in his chest at the thought of a private conversation with Lily.

"Yeah. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, sure," he croaked. He cleared his throat before turning to the rest of his friends. "We'll meet you down there." They nodded and each gave him a look that clearly read 'good luck.' He tried to smile at them but he was pretty sure his face was stuck on terrified.

Once the portrait hole closed and they were the only two left in the room, Lily started speaking. "So, here's the thing. After everything that happened last year, I was really angry with you. Furious. You humiliated me in front of everyone, bullied my best friend, and caused Snape and me to end our friendship. I hated you for it. I blamed you for Snape acting the way he did and even though you definitely had your share in our split, I finally admitted that you weren't the ultimate reason it happened. He chose his side and I chose mine and it was going to inevitably happen. Of course, I realized that a while ago and I've been too stubborn to admit that I was wrong and partially at fault too."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is Transfiguration is kicking my ass this year and I got an 'O' on the exam because of you and I know you've been struggling with Charms as well so maybe if you can forgive me, I can forgive you and then we can go back to being study buddies again?"

James stared at her, his hazel eyes wide. They stayed like that until James finally found his voice.

"Er, what do I have to forgive you for?"

She rolled her eyes. "I said some things in anger that weren't nice. I still think you're an arrogant, bullying toerag, but you still have a lot of admirable qualities and I never should have said you were as bad as Snape. You're loyal to your friends and are the very last person I would ever suspect of getting into dark arts. I'm sorry."

"You're—" James said, trying desperately to think of something witty or clever to say. All he could think, though, was that she was exceptionally pretty today in her Christmas jumper and she was apologizing and he wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. "'S'ok," was his response.

She smiled shyly at him. "So, we're good?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "We're good."

They walked down to the Great Hall in a silence that alternated between awkward and comfortable. James didn't know what to make of this turn of events but he knew one thing—this was by far the best Christmas present Lily Evans has ever given him.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

They sat the five of them at the mostly empty Gryffindor table, munching happily on the holiday meal in front of them. Sirius was fairly good at keeping the conversation going considering their group consisted of a very silent Lily and a dumbstruck James. Somehow, Peter, Sirius, and Remus started having a heated debate on whether ghosts could have sex with one another. James kept glancing at Lily, who was sitting next to Remus. He was too aware of her presence and was having difficulty eating and was a bit mortified at the topic his friends were discussing.

"All I'm saying," Sirius said as he shoved another forkful of potato into his mouth, "is if Nick can change his outfits, he can totally shag the Grey Lady."

"Yeah," Peter agreed. "I reckon Sirius is right."

"You always reckon Sirius is right," Remus pointed out, stabbing his steak-and-kidney pie with unnecessary aggression. "All _I'm_ saying is they're _ghosts_. They would just walk through each other. They can't even eat."

Lily was giving them a strange look but wasn't saying anything. James wanted to interrupt and start talking about something not quite as embarrassing or weird but couldn't for the life of him think of anything. So the conversation continued for another ten minutes. Peter switched sides about a dozen times, Sirius and Remus were both red-faced and grinning, and James and Lily both remained quiet.

"Lily," Sirius finally said, turning to her, "what do you think?"

Her eyes grew wide with shock at being dragged into the stupid dispute. "Well," she said slowly. "I think ghosts make the most of their situation but when it comes down to it, they're dead and that means they can't take pleasure in the same things living humans can. So I don't think they can have sex."

"Yes," said Remus triumphantly, raising a fist in the air.

Sirius harrumphed and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine," he said moodily. "Take Moony's side."

Apparently, Lily's word was the end of the debate and so Sirius switched gears and asked, "So, I know why we," he said, gesturing to the four boys, "stayed at old Hoggy, but why did _you_?"

"Oh. My family went on vacation so I decided it would be better if I just stayed here," Lily replied. James automatically knew she wasn't being honest. Lily has gone home for Christmas break and every year; if they wanted to go on vacation, they would take her. He knew he would be pressing his luck if he called her out, though, so he stuffed food into his mouth before he could say something stupid.

"Where'd they go," Peter asked.

"Pardon?"

"You said your family went on vacation…"

"Oh, right. Yes. They went to Italy."

"I used to have a Great Aunt in Italy," James said, speaking for the first time since he got to the table. He wanted to change the topic to something Lily might not be so uncomfortable with. "She would always send me the strangest birthday presents…"

"What classifies as weird for you, Prongs," Remus asked.

"I dunno she had a weird fascination for muggle stuff. More than Padfoot, even. Sent me an eyelash curler once… I thought it was a torture weapon before my mum explained it to me. Dunno why she thought I'd need one though, my lashes are perfect."

They all laughed, including Lily, and James felt his heart swell.

"They're not as good as mine," Sirius said, batting his lashes to stress his point. This made them all laugh harder.

"Padfoot," Remus said as he calmed down. "We all know you have the prettiest lashes."

"Hey," James exclaimed.

"Thank you, Moony," Sirius grinned. "It's good to be appreciated."

After that, conversation flowed much more naturally between all five of them, going from topic to topic. James felt slightly more relaxed about Lily's presence and was able to get through the remainder of his meal without spilling his pumpkin juice all over the place.

"So Lily," Peter said after a short lull. "Will you be joining our epic Christmas snowball fight?"

"I wasn't aware there was going to be one," she said, her green eyes still shining with laughter from the joke Sirius just told about a ghoul and banshee.

"There's always one," Peter boasted.

"You can be on Moony and Wormtail's team since they usually lose," James said. "They could use an extra set of arms."

"I'm not sure…"

"Nonsense," Sirius said. "You ate dinner with us. You don't really have a choice in the matter." The four boys got up and looked at Lily expectantly. Under the gaze of the boys who called themselves the marauders, she too rose from her seat at the table.

"'m not properly dressed," she tried weakly.

"Neither are we," Sirius said. "We'll head to our dorms, grab our cloaks, and reconvene in the Common Room, yeah?"

"Alright then."

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

Five shots to the face and you were out. The only other rule was absolutely no magic allowed. Everything else was a free-for-all.

James sat hunched behind the small fort he and Sirius built as the two tried to come up with a new plan of attack. Even though it was true the pair had won almost every snowball fight together, they were at a huge disadvantage by letting the other team have an extra player. Plus, Lily was a genius and hated James so really, he had no idea what he was thinking when he let her be on the other team.

"Padfoot are you even listening," he asked. Sirius was gathering up snow and making as many snowballs as he possibly could.

"'Course I am. I know how to multitask," he replied, not bothering to look up from his pile of snowballs. "I still think our best action is for you to sneak over to enemy territory, kiss Evans, and distract them while I come in for the kill."

"I'm not kissing Evans," James said, his face growing warm despite the temperature.

"Why not? I know you want to."

"Yes, but _she_ doesn't want me to. She hates me."

"I thought you said you guys were studying again. That's all you could talk about the two minutes we were in our dorm."

"That doesn't mean she likes me. That just means she needs help with Transfiguration."

"So 'study buddies' isn't a euphemism?"

"Merlin, no!" If James had any doubt about the color of his face, before, this just confirmed it. He stuck his head out of the fort quickly to see if there was any life from the others but all he could see was their fort, innocently hiding the three from sight.

"That's disappointing. Anyway, ready?"

"For what?"

"To put the plan to action!"

"I told you, I'm not snogging Evans!"

"Not _that_ one, the other one." But before James could properly process what Sirius said, he felt movement next to him and Sirius stood up, shouting, "FOR DUMBLEDORE!" He charged at the other fort, his arm filled with snowballs. Scrambling to keep up, James scooped up a bunch of snowballs, hopped up, and joined Sirius' ambush.

They were immediately met with snowballs being launched at them. Sirius, having had a head start, reached the fort first and knocked it down, showering the other team with snow. Then, they were face to face with their enemies. No mercy was shown as snowball after snowball was released. James could barely see, his glasses were covered in half-melted snow, but he trudged on, determined to take them out.

Peter was the first down, begging for a truce.

"I call Moony," Sirius shouted. James turned to see his two friends tackling each other and shoving their faces in the snow. His laughter was cut short by a snowball straight to the face. He was greeted with a smiling Lily, approaching him slowly and deliberately. His smile slid off his face at the sight of Lily heading towards him with a smirk on her face. He swallowed and tried to focus. He knew she was most likely holding a snowball behind her back. He knew they were in the middle of a war and she was the enemy. He knew he should be making another snowball or retreating or coming up with _something_.

He knew he should not be staring at the way her hips swung as she walked.

He swore she was doing it on purpose, to distract him, and _hell_ was it working.

That damn smirk was still on her face when she finally reached him. He swallowed again and stared down into her gorgeous green eyes. His head spun as he breathed in the scent of vanilla and coconut and _Lily_. She was so _close_ and his mind went back to that one night in fifth year…

She pushed him and he stumbled backward, landing in the snow on his butt. Lily smashed a snowball right in face before laughing with glee and running toward Remus.

"You got the last two face shots," He asked excitedly.

"Yes! We won! We won!" Remus got up, ran toward Lily, and lifted her up in the air, twirling her around. Peter came running toward them as well. Even though he was already out, he still celebrated in their victory.

Sirius came slouching over to James, completely covered in snow.

"Never should have let her join," he said dejectedly.

James looked up from his seat on the ground. "Funnily enough, I don't mind losing if it's losing to Evans."

o0o0o0o

**AN: So, what do you think; ****_can_**** ghosts have sex? (I asked my bf what's something they would argue about and when he said that I almost died because yes, ghost sex is definitely something the marauders discussed at some point)**

**Don't forget to review, fav, follow, share, etc to show your love! Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. Of Rain Clouds and Mini Pranks

**A/N:** _Oh. My. Goodness. This chapter was infuriating. It did not want to be written. I'm just glad it's over with because I have so many ideas for later chapters and really this was just getting in the way (and it came out very differently than I originally intended but that tends to happen to me a lot). Thank you all who reviewed, favorited, and followed! I'm so glad you like it so far! This flashback takes place in their third year._

**Chapter 2: Of Rain Clouds and Mini Pranks**

James knew he was being stupid. There was literally no reason to feel so threatened by the girl. And yet there he was, stalking her after Herbology, trying to figure out what her secret was. He never really paid her much attention before this year; she was just the weirdo who talked to Slytherins and volunteered in class a lot. But then Flitwick had to go change his seat and now he was stuck with her in charms and he didn't like it.

He watched as she walked arm in arm with Mary, giggling about something girls giggled about. She waved to a bunch of people as she passed them and James pictured the smile on her face as she greeted all the people she knew. _How did she even know that many people?_ James was one of the most popular kids in the school and definitely the most popular third year. Surely he knew more people than she did.

"Where're you going, James," Peter asked. "I thought we were going straight to the Great Hall because Sirius needs food now."

James hadn't even realized they were at the Great Hall already. He would have followed the girls to wherever they were going. That was mildly embarrassing.

"Sorry," James said, smiling as if he didn't let a random girl distract him. "I wasn't paying attention to where we were going." He followed his friends into the Hall and they made their way to their usual seats.

"We haven't pulled a prank in a while," Sirius said, grabbing another sandwich and putting it on his plate. "I think that should change."

"I concur," James said. Remus rolled his eyes. Ever since James heard him use that word, 'concur,' James had been trying to sneak it into as many conversations as he could.

"What do you want to do," Peter asked excitedly.

"Hmm," Sirius said, rubbing his chin. "Whatever it is, it should involve the Slytherins."

"No," James said immediately.

"No?"

"I have an idea for a new target."

Sirius looked eagerly at James with the prospect of a new person to torment.

"Lily Evans," James said simply. He didn't get the reaction he was hoping for. Instead of excited words of consent, his best friends looked at him apprehensively. "What?"

"It's just," Peter started. "She's a bit intimidating."

"Intimidating?"

"She's really nice, James," Remus said. "What could she have possibly done to you?"

"I don't know," James said, fidgeting in his seat. He didn't know how to explain what his problems with the girl was. She was just so… _Lily_. She was better than him at charms and she was pushy and she made him feel weird. "I just don't like her."

"Good enough reason for me," Sirius said, clapping James on the back. "What should we do to her?"

"Sirius," Remus said. "I still don't think it's a good idea."

"It'll be a harmless prank," James defended. "No one will get hurt, promise."

"The last time you said that I ended up in the hospital wing for two days. I will never be able to eat ice cream ever again."

"Look," James said, desperate to put an end to this madness. "I _swear_ it won't be harmful. You can have the most input if you like. But I need to do this. Evans needs to be stopped."

"Needs to be stopped," Remus repeated. "What in the world did she do?"

"I told you, I just don't like her."

Remus stared at him for a moment in disbelief. "Look, she obviously did _something_ but if you don't want to tell us, that's fine. I'll go along with your plan as long as it really is safe."

"Knew I could always count on you, Remus," James smiled.

James spent the next few days trying to figure out what he should do to the pest. Remus had already shot down putting itching powder in all her clothes and spiking her pumpkin juice with a love potion. James didn't know what his problem was; usually Remus enjoyed pranks as much as the others.

He finally thought of it the next time they had Charms. Lily was sitting next to him, enthusiastically taking notes and paying no mind to the boy next to her. Her dark red hair spilled over notes, blocking off her face and James stared at it, intrigued at the way it changed color in the light. He could catch flashes of lighter reds and golds every time she moved and he was completely transfixed, not even pretending to pay attention to the lesson.

Something hit James on the side of his head, distracting him from the redhead. He looked down and saw a note.

**What are you staring at?**

_I think I have an idea for the prank. Talk after class_, James scribbled and threw it back to Sirius.

So after class, James gathered his friends and they discussed his plan and finally, _finally_, got Remus' approval. He ignored the fact that Remus and Peter still weren't so keen on pranking Evans because they were still on board and that was all that mattered. Besides, it wasn't exactly a _prank_; it was just a bit of poking fun at the girl.

They enacted the plan at dinner that evening. The boys sat in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table, trying but failing at acting calm. The students sitting next to the group could always tell when they were up to something—subtlety was not their strongest suit.

James couldn't have asked for a better night to pull it off. The ceiling was a dark grey, reflecting the thunder storm occurring outside and every once in a while thunder would crash, causing a few students to jump. James glanced at where Lily was sitting with her friends. She was laughing, her green eyes sparkling and her face glowing. James felt that same uncomfortable lurch in his stomach as he observed her and was filled with a new conviction. He nodded at his friends and then sent the jinx her way.

Lily jerked when she heard a particularly loud thunderclap but didn't question it. Unbeknownst to the girl, James has sent a raincloud to sit atop her head and any second now she was going to get drenched. Sure enough, she was midway through a story when it started to drizzle on top of her. She immediately looked up, confused, only to get a face full of water. Lily got out of her seat, thinking it would help but the cloud followed her, as the rain started to get heavier and heavier.

Students from the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables started to take notice and began pointing her out, laughing with their friends. James tried, hard as he could, to keep his expression neutral but as soon as Lily looked at him, her jaw clenched and she started walking purposefully toward him, leaving large puddles of water in her trail.

"Alright there, Evans," he asked.

"You're a prat, Potter," she spat. Lily was now so soaked, she gave off the appearance of a drowned cat. James couldn't help but marvel at the fact that she still looked rather pretty. Especially her eyes, shich were glaring daggers at him. "Take it off."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said coolly. "I didn't do this to you. But I don't see why you're complaining. Maybe all this water will put out the fire on top of your head."

"You are so bloody _stupid_. My hair isn't even an orange red. It's _dark_ red. It doesn't look like fire. Now take it off."

"Sorry, Evans. Can't."

"And why can't you?"

"I didn't do it."

Her eyes flashed angrily. "Don't give me that. You've been staring at me all day, don't think I didn't notice." James tried his hardest not to let her words get to him. The truth was, he had been staring at her a lot and while it's easy to pass it off as prank planning, he knew that wasn't the only reason. "Now take it off and I won't complain to Professor McGonagall."

James looked towards the staff table. Thankfully, they all seemed relatively oblivious to the scene but he wouldn't put it passed Lily to tattle on him. "Fine," he sighed and reluctantly lifted the spell.

"Thank you," she replied stiffly before marching out of the hall.

The next morning, when James reached over to his nightstand, he found his glasses were missing. After a few minutes of frantic searching and the help of his fellow roommates, he determined that his glasses were, in fact, not in the room. He sat on his bed, partially blind and completely screwed, a small smile on his face. She was sneaky, he'd give her that.

o0o0o0o

Lily joined them at the table for breakfast. James tried not to think too much into it but he couldn't help but grin into his bacon. She still sat next to Remus, which was on the other side of the table, but he didn't mind that nearly as much as he would have thought. It was so much easier sneaking glances at her when she was across from him. He realized how creepy that sounded, even in his own head, and decided he wasn't going to look at her for the rest of breakfast unless she spoke to him.

He lasted a whole three minutes before he caved and let his eyes wander back to her. Her dark red hair was pulled to the side in a simple ponytail, quite a bit of neck exposed, a few wisps of hair framing her face. She was wearing a green sweater, which accentuated her green eyes. Her round nose was a bit red from the cold and she was smiling at something Remus was saying.

Forcing himself to stop, James reached for the salt to add to his eggs. He concentrated on that, trying as hard as he could to not stare at her but as soon as Sirius asked her a question, he was a goner.

"So, what are your plans for today," Sirius asked Lily, filling the silence that resided between the five. James wasn't sure he would ever be able to get over how lucky he was to have a friend as amazing as Sirius. He was reckless and brash and could be a little hard to handle at times, but he was the most loyal bloke James knew and he appreciated that he was trying to get Lily to open up to them. James, it was established, was incapable of talking like a normal person around Lily, so Sirius took it upon himself to make her comfortable. What more could you ask for in a best mate, really?

She shrugged. "I was probably going to read one of the books my parents gave me."

"That's boring," Sirius said, waving a hand at her. "You should hang out with us again. Much more entertaining."

"Why, so I can listen to you argue about ghost sex again," she asked. James tensed for a moment at her tone but when he saw the corners of lips curve up, he realized that she was _teasing_. His chest constricted; he didn't realize how much he missed that.

"Exactly."

"Maybe for a bit," she said and James' mouth opened in shock. Thankfully, she wasn't paying any attention to him. "I really do want to read today, though."

James bit into his eggs and started gagging and choking. Apparently he had been dumping copious amounts of salt into his food the entire time. He went to grab his pumpkin juice but his movements were too hurried and he wound up spilling it all over his plate. Still needing to get that god-awful taste out of his mouth, he did the next logical thing he could think of—drink out of Sirius' goblet. He took a long sip before realizing Sirius drinks his coffee black (of course he does, the idiot, trying to live up to his bloody name) and nearly spit it out all over Remus. Thankfully he managed to choke it down but now he had a taste of excess salt and bitter coffee and his trousers were slowly being soaked from his pumpkin juice dripping onto him and Lily and his friends were laughing at him.

"Here," Remus said weakly, offering James his own pumpkin juice.

"Thanks." He grabbed the cup and took a huge gulp before handing it back across the table. James took out his wand and cleaned up the mess he made, making sure to dry his jeans as well and refusing to meet anybody's eye.

"You alright there, Potter," Lily asked, calming down enough to speak.

James managed to cough out, "Just… put too much salt," before turning away in embarrassment. He wouldn't look at her now but he could practically _feel_ the smirk on her lips and his face, if possible, got even hotter.

"Ah," she said. "I hate it when that happens."

James took his frustration and embarrassment out on the guffawing Sirius sitting next to him. He elbowed him in the ribs and then shoved all his defective eggs onto his friend's plate.

"I will make you eat this if you don't stop," James threatened, picking up a forkful of salty eggs.

Sirius just grinned at James. "Sorry, mate, you make it too easy."

James punched Sirius in the arm and then put a hand through his hair. "At least I still have my good looks."

The group rolled their eyes and Remus decided it was time to change the subject. "What book do you want to read," he asked Lily.

"Well, I'm finally able to start reading Lord of the Rings. I read The Hobbit over the summer and my parents bought me the trilogy for Christmas," Lily said, her eyes lighting up as she spoke about the books.

"Aren't those muggle books," Sirius asked.

"Yes, and they're quite popular in the muggle world. It's a totally different look at magic and elves and such but it's fascinating."

"Sure. But you still have to hang out with us."

"How are you at chess," Remus asked.

"Fairly decent, why," Lily said.

Peter grinned. "Because," he said, "I could use some real competition."

"I was going easy on you yesterday," Sirius said, pouting.

"No you weren't. You had Moony and tried to get Prongs to help." Peter turned to face Lily, his face serious. "These three are awful."

Lily smiled. "I wasn't aware Potter was bad at anything," she said, looking right at him. He straightened in his seat a bit and looked around at his friends frantically, trying to think of a way to respond that didn't make him sound like an ass.

"I'm not," he said, realizing after the words were out of his mouth that he had done exactly what he was trying to avoid. "I happen to be an expert chess player. Wormtail just happens to be more of an expert."

Lily raised her eyebrow. "You are just incapable of being humble, aren't you?"

"What? No, I—what? I can be humble. I'm humble. Right, guys?" James turned to his friends for support. Remus was suddenly very interested in his eggs and Peter snorted into his tea.

"Prongs is second only to Moony in humbleness," Sirius said.

James grinned. "Thanks, Padfoot. Knew I could always count on you."

"You got it, buddy."

Lily rolled her eyes at the pair. "Anyway, I'd love to play against you Peter. I don't know if I'll be able to give you the competition you're clearly lacking, but I can certainly try."

"Great! Let's go now!"

"Now, wait a minute," Sirius said. "I haven't finished my bacon yet."

"Padfoot, I'm pretty sure you had enough already," Remus said, looking disgusted at his friend.

"There's no such thing as too much bacon."

"You could get clogged arteries and heart failure from too much bacon, actually," Lily said. The marauders all looked at her curiously. "Oh. Right. Wizards don't have to worry about that, do they?"

"I don't think so," James said.

Lily seemed to ponder this for a moment before reaching over and loading her plate with more bacon. James couldn't but smile at her.

"Might as well, then, right," she asked.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

Lily and Peter played two games of chess. After Lily lost the first one, she insisted they try again because she knew his strategy now and had a better shot at winning. When she lost the second game, she huffed and went off to get her book.

James watched her retreating figure as she made her way up the staircase to the girls' dormitory. "You should have let her win," he said, smacking the back of Peter's head. Sirius was lying next to them on the couch, eyes closed; since he wasn't the one playing, he was incredibly bored.

"Hey!" Peter rubbed the spot James hit. "I won both those games fairly. She would have gotten angry if I let her win."

"What if she doesn't come back down?" James stared at the staircase, waiting for Lily to make her reappearance. It didn't matter if she talked to all his friends more than she talked to him or if he did nothing but continuously embarrass himself in front of her. Her mere presence was enough to put him in a good mood.

"Then you learn how to survive without her for a few hours," Remus said.

"Right. Right, I can do that." James sat, staring straight ahead, not looking back at the staircase. He grabbed a quidditch magazine that was lying near him. After quickly scanning through the entire thing (he had already read this volume) he dropped it back where it was. He tapped his hands against his knees before blurting out, "Let's pull a prank!"

"Now we're talking," Sirius said, immediately sitting up and rubbing his hands together.

"There's barely anyone here. Shouldn't we wait until the students get back," Remus asked.

"Shush, Moony," Sirius said. "You can never have too little an audience."

"If we're going to get detention, I would like it to be worth it. I _am_ a prefect, you know. You guys like to ignore that little tidbit but it's true."

"Okay, so we have a mini-prank that will be a warm-up to our actual prank that will take place when everyone arrives. Sounds good?" James looked at his three friends, waiting for their approval.

"Mini pranks aren't as good as real pranks," Sirius said.

"But at least it gives us something to do. And the professors won't expect it when we pull the _actual_ prank."

"Fine," Sirius said, finding it difficult to turn down the prospect of pranking. "What'd you have in mind then?"

The four boys sat huddled together in the common for the next hour, debating over logistics and ideas. James was very proud of himself; he only glanced toward the girls' staircase four times in that hour.

"Do you know how hard it is to remove glitter," Remus asked, annoyed that they were just arguing in circles by this point. "I don't see what's wrong with using basic confetti. I'm sure we could think of a way to make it 'unmagicable' by the time we do it in full."

"But _glitter_, Moony," Sirius said. "Can you imagine the Slytherins stuck walking around all glittery for days? It'll be priceless!"

"But it won't just be the Slytherins!"

"Alright," James said. "Here's what we do. We use confetti today and we'll look up spells and if we can't find anything good, we use glitter for the big one. We might even be able to make ourselves impervious to the glitter so we won't have to look like a bunch of tossers as well. Now, can we _please_ stop arguing and actually get on with the actual work?"

His friends didn't answer. They were looking past James, their eyes wide. "What," he asked. He turned around and saw Lily making her way toward them, book in hand and a small smile on her face. When she noticed the way the boys were staring at her, though, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What are you lot up to," she asked.

"Nothing," they chimed. James winced. That did not sound innocent at all. She raised an eyebrow, a look that was just so _Lily_ James couldn't help but smile.

"For some reason, I don't quite believe you." She plopped herself next to Remus on the couch, her thighs touching his in order to fit.

"We would tell you," Sirius said, "but then you might stop us and that's just no fun, is it?"

"_Or_ you could tell me and I wouldn't get you in trouble because I'm terribly bored and you four are my only source of entertainment for the next few days."

"What happened to your precious book," Sirius asked.

Lily sighed. "Don't get me wrong, Tolkien is a genius and a half and those books are some of the greatest out there. But I can only handle so much before I start to lose it. I need to read it in waves."

"Maybe we should tell her," James said. Lily smiled at him.

"No offense, Prongs, but I don't always trust your judgment when it comes to… certain things," Remus said delicately.

James looked at Remus then back to Lily. "Could you let us discuss this for a moment?"

"Sure," she said, rolling her eyes. She got up and walked to the other side of the common room. The marauders all leaned in, close as they could, to have an impromptu meeting.

"She could be tricking us," Sirius said. "I don't trust her."

"She hasn't done anything untrustworthy yet," James argued. Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"That's because _we _haven't done anything untrustworthy," Remus pointed out.

"There's no real harm in telling her. If we think she's gonna rat us out, we just trap her here or something."

"Prongs, you would do anything that girl asks you to do."

"Then don't have me be the one to trap her."

"Well…" Sirius said slowly. "We did tell her she had to hang out with us today. It's only fair, yeah?"

"Yes," James said excitedly. "Exactly. I don't want her to feel left out. I know she's been feeling that way all year."

"Fine," Remus said. "We'll tell her. But if we get in trouble, it's on you, Prongs."

"I will gladly take all the blame."

"Bring her over then."

"Oi! Evans!"

She made her way back to the boys.

"We've decided to tell you so long as you solemnly swear you will not tell on us, give us detention, or attempt to deduct points," James said.

"I swear."

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

The rest of break went by in a similar manner. Lily would spend a few hours reading every day but most of it was spent with the marauders. James noticed that sometimes she would be very involved in their activities and discussions but other times it was basically like she wasn't there—silent and detached. He couldn't blame her really; she only considered Remus her friend and it must have felt awkward hanging around a bunch of boys she didn't like very much. Still, they tried their best to make her feel welcome.

Sirius was taking up an entire couch to himself, lounging casually as they discussed the school's most recent gossip. James was hanging off an armchair, trying not to feel jealous that Remus and Lily were snuggling on the loveseat next to him. Peter was on the floor, playing with Lily's cat. James always thought Peter was scared of cats but he seemed to be getting on well enough with this one.

"Leonora's hot and all," Sirius said, reaching over to grab another chocolate, "but I don't get how she goes through boyfriends so easily."

"She's very nice," Lily defended.

"That girl is dumb as bricks."

"She may not be the smartest witch but she's attractive and kind. Just because _you_ don't want to date her doesn't mean other boys have to feel the same way."

"Don't tell me _you_ want to date her," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows.

Lily laughed. "You caught me, Black. I'm actually harboring secret feelings for Leonora. How'd you guess?"

"Tough luck, Prongs," Sirius said. "Looks like you've got some competition."

"At least I'm not an emotionally stunted 12 year old," James said, chucking a pillow at him.

Sirius stuck out his tongue.

"Pretty sure you just proved Prongs' point," Remus laughed.

"Et tu, Remus," Sirius said, clutching his heart.

"You know Shakespeare," Lily asked.

"'Course I know Shakespeare. I make it my business to know the goings on in the muggle world, Evans."

"It's part of his rebellion," Peter said.

The portrait hole swung open as Lily was about to respond, allowing a swarm of glittery Gryffindors to enter. The five of them tried to stifle their laughter at the disgruntled looks on everyone's faces.

"Classic," Sirius said. "Shame we didn't get to see everyone's first reactions but still worth it, I think."

"Cheers," Remus said, raising his candy up. They all followed suit, toasting to themselves.

"Can't wait to see the Slytherins tomorrow," James said.

It had been Lily's idea to have the glitter pour down on them in the Entrance Hall, ensuring that the five of them would be entirely free of glitter and giving everyone a welcome back surprise. Remus finally conceded to using glitter after that.

"Lily!" a voice rang out. They turned to see Marlene waving happily toward her.

"I'll be right back," she told the boys before getting up and strolling over to her friend.

"You know Prongs," Sirius said, "she's not too bad."

"I am aware."

"I used to think she was really annoying but I guess I can see why you like her."

"Keep your hands off her, Padfoot."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. "Don't worry about me, mate. You might want to talk to Moony, though. They looked pretty comfy before."

"It doesn't mean anything. Lily is just a very affectionate person. You know that Prongs, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Doesn't matter anyway. I ruined any chance I had with her."

"You don't know that," Peter said. "She spent nearly this entire break with you. That's progress."

James didn't respond. Sirius was always the dramatic one of the group but when it came to Lily, James couldn't help but be a bit of a drama queen. She just had that effect on him.

"Hi," Lily said when she got back from talking to her friends. Her face was pink and she refused to look at any of them. "I'm going to go back to my room to catch up with everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow." She bent down to pick up her long abandoned school books and then turned to leave.

"Are you going to have breakfast with us tomorrow," James asked, unable to stop himself. He had grown so accustomed to having her around; he didn't like the thought of her ignoring him again.

She glanced back at Mary and Marlene, covered head to toe in red and gold glitter, who were giving her curious looks. "Yeah," she finally said. "Yeah, I might."

o0o0o0o

**A/N:**_ The story should pick up next chapter because classes will start again! Get pumped. I'm going to try my best to post it soon but Christmas is right around the corner and I'm getting surgery at the end of the month so I can't guarantee anything. Just know that if I don't post one before my surgery, as soon as I am functional enough to use my laptop, I will be working diligently on the chapter. _

_Thank you for reading! Don't forget to review/fav/follow! It's been scientifically proven reviews speed up recovery time ;)_


	3. Of First Rejections and Mindless Laughs

**A/N:** _I wrote a lot of this chapter while recovering from surgery so if it seems substandard, that is probably why. As always, please review/favorite/follow to show your support! Many, many thanks to everyone who already did so. You have no idea how much I appreciate it! This chapter's flashback takes place near the end of their fourth year. _

**Chapter 3: Of First Rejections and Mindless Laughter**

They were sitting silently in the library. Lily was absorbed in her essay, her quill skidding along the parchment with ease, providing the only sound between them. The only time her eyes left the paper was when she wanted to check something in her book. James was not working quite as hard as she was. In fact, he found himself to be rather distracted.

Her face was beautiful when it was all scrunched in concentration yet at the same time he wanted her to laugh at his jokes and surprise him with her wit and just… interact with him. The problem was James was pretty bad at talking to her. Ever since he realized the weird feelings he got whenever she was around was because he fancied her, those feelings increased tenfold and he got extremely tongue-tied and flustered around her. Of course, he did his very best to cover this up but that only ever ended with him doing or saying something so ridiculously stupid, he would always brood in bed for hours afterwards.

It didn't help that he couldn't tell what was going on in that head of hers. Sometimes it seemed like she genuinely enjoyed his presence. Sometimes it seemed like they were mates. Other times she would be berating him or ignoring him and he didn't like those times.

He watched as she was able to write line after line of her essay. "Careful Evans, you might burn a hole through your parchment," he said casually, finally breaking the silence between them.

"At least I'm doing my work. What on earth have you been doing this entire time," she asked as she took notice of his nearly blank parchment.

"I'm stuck," he lied.

"What do you need help with," she asked, placing her quill delicately on the table.

"Er, everything?"

She sighed. "Let me see what you have so far," she said, stretching her arms out so he could hand her his very pathetic essay on seize and pull charms.

"It's not good," he warned as he passed it to her. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

"We learned them last year," she reminded him. He knew that, obviously. And he knew that if he actually tried he could probably scrape up a fairly decent essay. But at least now she was talking to him and looking at him.

James shrugged. Usually his little outbursts of Lily-hysteria made him look like a pompous arse (he was, admittedly, a bit of a pompous arse but that's beside the point) but this time he looked stupid and slow. That was definitely not going to impress Lily.

"Look, it doesn't matter," he said, snatching it back from Lily before she had a chance to read it. "I'm just not in the right mindset to do work right now."

"Are you ever?"

"Yes! But I just finished doing the Astronomy charts plus I had loads of Muggle Studies work and that Potions essay took longer than I thought and my mind is all fried out. I can't concentrate one more second on the theory behind any magic."

She nodded. "So what do you want to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's pretty obvious you're overworked. The rules of study buddies states that it is up to me to help you overcome this. What would you like to do to unwind?"

He wasn't expecting that answer. He looked at her skeptically but her expression was so genuine. Truthfully, he would like nothing more than to grab her and press his lips against hers to 'unwind' but he figured it would be better for both of them not to mention that.

"Want to go to the kitchens?"

"Are we allowed there?"

"Dunno. Hasn't stopped me before." They stared at each other for a few seconds while Lily contemplated his offer. James hoped he was giving her an award-winning smirk and did not look as desperate as he felt.

"Alright," she decided. "But if we get in trouble, I'm saying you threatened me."

James laughed. "Deal."

They gathered their things and made their way to the kitchens with James in the lead.

"What made you take Muggle Studies," Lily asked as she tried to keep up with his long strides.

"Sirius."

"What?"

"He and his family… well, they don't get along. He likes doing things that pisses them off and taking Muggle Studies was definitely something they didn't appreciate. I took it so he wouldn't have to be in it alone. Pretty fascinating class, though."

Being pureblood, James didn't know very much about the muggle world. He never realized how inconvenient living without magic could be. It made him appreciate them all the more for it.

"Hmm," Lily said. "I always thought Muggle Studies should be a required class. At least for one year. Maybe there would be less prejudices against muggle-borns if wizards understood them better, you know?"

James glanced at her. He knew they were treading close to dangerous territory. "I reckon it might change some people's minds," he said thoughtfully. "But there are some people who are just too far gone. I don't think any class could fix them."

"You're probably right. A witch can dream though, can't she?"

"I've always felt a healthy dose of dreaming can do wonders to your soul."

She smiled sweetly at him and he felt a familiar pull at his stomach.

"Alright," he said when they reached the portrait entrance. "Just tickle that pear there and we're in."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. She reached out and tickled the pear, giggling when it started wiggling under her fingers. She turned the doorknob and James watched with pleasure as she gaped at all the house elves running about.

"Hello," he boomed cheerily to house elves as they entered. They were immediately greeted with a dozen tiny hands, offering them all sorts of foods and sweets.

"Just a treacle tart for me, please," he said.

"And for me," Lily added.

"Come on," James said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to a table so they could sit. He regretfully let go once they sat down.

"I had no idea there were so many house elves working here," she exclaimed. "I mean, I knew there were a few but this is ridiculous!" She watched as they scurried around the kitchen, clanging pots and pans.

They chatted for a while about house elves and cooking (James was particularly interested in the way muggles cooked and hung on Lily's every word), their tarts long finished. It was nice, talking to her about something unrelated to schoolwork and James cherished every second of it.

"So," James said, tapping his fingers against the table and suddenly his heart was racing in his chest. "Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" He had no idea what made him decide to do this. He was planning on keeping his embarrassing crush on the girl a secret until it ran its course and he moved on.

"Probably," she shrugged. She was sitting cross-legged on her chair; her shoes had been abandoned some time ago and were resting next to her book bag. "Are you?"

"Yeah," he responded. Then, as casually and offhanded as he could muster, he added, "would you want to go together?"

"Oh," she said. Her eyes widened in shock and her face started to redden. James swore his heart was so loud she could hear it. "I—no. I'm sorry."

James felt like he was being hit repeatedly in the gut by a beater's bat. Backtracking quickly he said, "No, I didn't mean—I meant as friends. Not a date."

"Oh," she said again, visibly relaxing. She laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed…"

"It's fine. I probably should have specified in the first place." Bitterness and humiliation started to slowly trickle their way through James' thoughts and before he could stop himself he added, "Although, why you would even think I'd want to date you is beyond me."

"Excuse me?"

"That's a bit cocky, don't you think?"

"_I'm_ cocky?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Evans. Not everyone is clamoring for the chance to snog you. I'm certainly not."

"I didn't realize the thought of going on a date with me was so repulsive to you Potter. I apologize for ever putting that thought in your thick head of yours." She ducked down to slip her shoes back on and grab her bag.

"Don't beat yourself up," he said coolly. "I know tons of girls who are begging to go out with me, there's no need to be ashamed."

"I don't know if you're smart enough to remember this, but I _turned you down_, you conceited wanker. And for the record, I'll probably be too busy with my actual friends to go to Hogsmeade with you. Besides, we're not even friends." With that, she made her way out of the kitchen, politely turning down all the food the house elves were trying to push on her. Once she clambered out, James bashed his head against the table.

"Stupid," he muttered to himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

o0o0o0o

"These bloody nonverbal spells are going to be the death of me," Lily groaned as she paced back and forth in the abandoned classroom they were currently occupying. It was a week into the second term and Lily and James' first study buddy session since fifth year. It took James a lot of effort to agree to meet Lily there; the last time they were alone in a classroom like this ended with them… he tried really hard not to think about it.

"You just need to calm down," James said, leaning against the teacher's desk with his arms crossed at his chest.

"I _can't_ calm down. Do you know how important it is to get nonverbals? Everybody wants us to do them. Every damn professor is demanding them and I can't!"

"Don't need them for Potions."

"You are not helping!"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"No, no. It's okay. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm just so stressed out and I'm scared that I'll never be able to do it and where will that leave me?"

"Evans," James said, walking toward Lily. He reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders, effectively stopping her nerve-wracking pacing. "You are a brilliant witch. You know this. I know this. Every bloody person in this school knows this. You're overthinking it."

"I am _not_ overthinking it, Potter," she said, ignoring James' compliment. "We've been doing nonverbal spells all year and I've been struggling with them the entire time. I should have gotten it by now."

"You're being too hard on yourself. It's not—"

"That's easy for you to say, Mr. Everything-Comes-Easy-To-Me. Have you ever really struggled with anything before?"

"I have and you know it, Evans. Better than most, I would say."

Her eyes softened and she took a deep breath. James thought he was making progress with her when she groaned, shoved his arms off her, and sank to the ground. Perhaps not as much progress as he originally thought, then.

"This was a mistake."

"What was," he asked, tentatively sitting down next to her. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"This," she said, her eyes squeezed shut. "You and me. Doing this again. It's not going to work."

James heart sunk. "Why not?"

"There's just… too much history. I thought we could move past it but I can't."

James looked down at his scuffed shoes. He wasn't sure if she was thinking of one particular moment (the one James hasn't been able to get out of his mind the moment they entered the room) or if she just meant their entire messed up relationship in general. It didn't matter, he supposed, in the grand scheme of things. Still, it would be nice to know if she was even slightly as effected by some of their shared moments as he was.

"It's not going to be easy," he said, hoping beyond hope that he would be able to convince her to stay in his life. "And I don't know if we'll ever be able to have the same kind of relationship we had before." _Whatever that even was…_ "But I'm trying, Evans. I swear I am. We do better when we have each other, and you know it. That's why you came to me. There's no one else that will be able to help you with nonverbals."

"I keep getting so _mad_ at you," she said.

"Ah, that's nothing new," he shrugged.

"But I would only ever get mad at you when you deserved it. When you were being an arrogant, bullying toerag. Right now, you're just trying to help me and it's driving me up the wall."

"That, my dear, is simply because you are frustrated and jealous and taking it all out on me."

"I'm not jealous."

James chuckled. "Of course you're not. It's not like I'm the best student in our year at nonverbal spells or anything."

"Shut up, Potter."

"Make me," he said, finally looking at her. "Go on, Evans. Throw a jinx at me. Nonverbally."

"You want me to attack you," she asked.

"Yeah," he said, getting up. "You hate me, right? So what better way to bring out your repressed talent than by giving you the best target?"

"I don't hate you," she said but she, too, rose and faced him. "You're really okay with me trying?"

"So long as you promise you'll fix me afterward."

She grinned at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Alright then, I'll give it a go."

It took her another 45 minutes, a few tears, and a thrown chair but eventually Lily was able to properly hit James with the Jelly-Legs Jinx without uttering a word.

After she performed the counter-spell, she ran over to him, a huge smile on her face. It looked like she was about to hug him but she stopped herself short and stood awkwardly close to him. "I can't believe I did it!"

"I told you you could," he said, grinning broadly at her.

"Thank you!" She placed her hand on his forearm. "I know that wasn't exactly Transfiguration but that was the first time I was able to do it properly."

James shrugged. "That's what I'm here for."

Lily beamed. "We should probably get going."

"What," James asked, panicking a bit. He wasn't quite ready to leave just yet. "But you haven't even tried any Transfiguration yet!"

"I know but I promised Mary I would be back by 9. Maybe we could meet again tomorrow? I know you have quidditch practice but—"

"Yeah, no, we could meet tomorrow. I can work around practice, you know me," he replied, grinning.

"Great. I'll see you later then." She gave him a small wave before leaving.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L **

They were back in an empty classroom. Lily was staring determinedly at a match, willing it to turn into a needle. James figured they should start with easier spells at first instead of trying the ones they were doing in class. He was leaning back in the professor's chair, feet crossed on the desk with a casual ease he didn't feel.

"You're overthinking it again, Evans."

"Stop saying that. I'm not overthinking it, you're _underthinking_ it."

"Okay, I don't think that's a real word." He swung his legs down and walked around the desk, cautiously approaching her. "It seems like you're thinking too much about the fact you have to perform the spell rather than focusing on the spell itself."

"You don't know what I'm thinking, Potter."

"'Course I do. Right now you're thinking that you want to be mad at me but you can't because I'm far too handsome."

"The day I find you handsome is a sad day, indeed."

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think? We both know you find me fit." James watched, amazed, as her cheeks started to redden. She had complimented his appearance a few times last year (four times, to be exact, but who was counting?) but he never thought she would still find him attractive. He stood a bit straighter, puffing his chest out proudly.

"You are completely derailing this conversation. Whether or not I find you attractive—which I _don't_—has nothing to do with my inability to perform a first year spell."

Figuring he would be pushing his luck if he tried to mention that she had the hots for him, James went along with her change in topic. "You can perform the spell just fine, don't give me that. It's nonverbally that's the issue. And I'm telling you, stop trying so hard. Just focus."

"I am focusing!"

"Not on the right thing!"

She was glaring up at him, fire burning in her emerald eyes. "You are so frustrating, James Potter!"

"I'm just trying to bloody help you!"

"Yelling at me isn't helping!'

"You were yelling at me first!"

Their eyes remained locked, neither of them wanting to back down first. James was beginning to doubt whether they will ever make it through a study session without fighting over something stupid. Perhaps Lily was right; this was a mistake.

But then she was laughing. Loud, genuine laughter. His face immediately softened at the sound and he looked at her curiously.

"What," he asked softly.

She calmed down enough to reply, "We're hopeless," before bursting out again. He still had no idea what was so funny but her laughter was infectious and he couldn't stop himself from joining in, grabbing his sides from laughing so hard.

They wasted quite some time doing this. By the time they sobered up, James was leaning on a desk for support and Lily was leaning on _him_, tears in her eyes.

"Good lord," Lily said, detaching herself from James and taking a step back. "I needed that."

"Mind telling me what that was about," James asked as he straightened himself out. "I'm fairly sure I lost a few pounds from laughing so hard. And I feel like I missed the joke…"

She looked up at him, a smile still on her face. "I think I've finally cracked."

"Brilliant." They looked at each other before starting all over again.

Once they stopped, again, James muttered, "Merlin, Evans. You're completely mental."

"I haven't laughed that hard in so long," she said. Her face was red and bright and James needed to take a few more steps away to put distance between them in case he did something stupid. "Okay. I think I'm ready to try again."

She turned back to her match and concentrated on her nonverbal spell. James was incredibly confused about the entire situation. He was pretty sure she wasn't mad at him anymore but he had no idea what he had done to accomplish this. One minute they were screaming at each other over absolutely nothing and the next they were cracking up. He didn't push the issue though; it was somewhat reminiscent of their relationship last year.

He was wrenched from his thoughts by a loud gasp. "I did it," Lily squealed, jumping in her spot. James turned and, sure enough, she was proudly holding up a perfect needle.

"That's fantastic!" James exclaimed, beaming down at the girl. "Now, do it again."

"Again?"

"You did it once. Do it again." He grabbed another match from the box and placed in front of Lily. "First time's the hardest. You can do it."

She narrowed her eyes in determination and nodded once. Holding up her wand, she aimed it at the match and focused on it becoming a needle. A few seconds later, she placed her new needle next to the other.

"You're going to be an expert by the end of the month, Evans."

She snorted. "Doubt it. I'll need to break my ribs laughing before I try. They'll lock me up in St. Mungo's."

"You don't need to go loony to accomplish nonverbal spells. You just need to stop thinking so much. Which, if you recall, is exactly what I've been trying to tell you for the past two days."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Real mature, Evans."

"Like you can talk, Potter." She started gathering her things, carefully placing the two needles in the matchbox as a keepsake. "Thanks for the help though. I'm kicking myself for being stubborn and not going to you earlier."

James didn't bother pointing out that he barely had anything to do with Lily's success. "You sure you want to stop for the day? I don't mind staying."

"No, you probably have other work to do. I feel bad taking up so much of your time as it is."

"That's part of the job. You've done more for me."

"Regardless, I'm done with this for the day. My mind is tired."

James nodded and picked up his schoolbag. "Would you want to go to the kitchens to relax," he asked nervously. They used to go to the kitchens often after they were done working. It became a sort of tradition for them and James hoped that they could reinstate it.

"Er, no. I think I'll just go to the dorm."

"Okay." He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way out of the room with Lily close behind.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

"Potter!"

James ran a hand though his hair at the sound of her voice. He had no idea what he did this time, but he hoped it wasn't bad enough to cause a scene.

"Evans," he replied coolly. Twisting in his seat in the common room, James looked up at the pretty redhead. They had been meeting regularly to work on Charms and Transfiguration. Lily had advanced in doing nonverbal spells and James was able to do a few charms nonverbally as well. They hadn't fought since that one night, which was a huge accomplishment in James' opinion.

"We didn't do it," Sirius blurted out from his spot on the couch. Remus reached out and smacked him.

"Didn't do what," Lily asked.

"Whatever you're about to yell at Prongs about."

"I wasn't about to yell at him."

"Oh. Carry on, then."

She rolled her eyes at him and returned her focus to James, who messed up his hair again. "I was just wondering if that offer was available."

"Er, what offer?"

"To go to the kitchens," she said impatiently.

"Oh! Yeah! Totally."

They looked at each other for a few seconds in silence.

"Well, can we go," she asked.

"Now?"

She nodded.

"Right! Yes. Let's go." He leapt out of his seat and waved to his friends. "See you lot later!"

They didn't talk much as they made their way down to the kitchens. James was partially convinced he was dreaming or hallucinating because there was no way Lily Evans actively sought him out 45 minutes before curfew just to eat in the kitchen. Surely, if she wanted to go there, she could ask one of her friends? The entire situation seemed too surreal.

"Are you alright, Evans," he asked when he realized he wasn't the only one apparently lost in thought.

"Not especially but I'm not about to discuss my problems with you."

"Okay. If you do want to talk about it, though, I'm here."

She looked up at him and instead of annoyance like he expected, her face was full of confusion.

"Thanks."

The rest of their walk was silent. James tried to think of something funny to say to cheer her up but seeing as he had no idea _what_ was wrong, he couldn't be sure he wouldn't make things worse. He didn't think it was school-related because that was really the only thing she seemed to trust him with. Maybe it was family problems? She never outright told him but he was able to piece together enough to figure out that she didn't get along with her sister. Or maybe the Slytherins were giving her a rough time again?

Really, there was no point in fretting over it. If Lily wanted him to know, she would tell him. And they weren't friends so there was no reason for her telling. It was stupid worrying about it. He looked over at her. She was walking with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes were trained on some spot ahead of her. He _knew_ he had no right worrying about her but that didn't stop him.

When they entered the kitchen, they placed their usual order of treacle tart and made their way to the table. James glanced around, trying to look at anything but Lily. He didn't think it was possible to feel even more awkward around her but apparently he was wrong. Thanking the house elves for the plate of treacle tart, he quickly shoved one in his mouth to give him something to do.

He was on his second one when Lily finally said, "I haven't been here since the last time we went, right before our O.W.L.s. Do you remember?"

Of course he remembered. That was around the time he thought he actually had a chance with her. "You went on a long rant about standardized tests and the injustice of them."

She blushed. "I still think standardized tests are unfair. There are plenty of smart people who don't excel in school. But I was probably mostly just stressed about the exams."

"Never would have guessed," James laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't been here since then. I was under the impression you frequented the kitchens."

"I did. I would come here all the time last year. I even showed my mates because I thought I was so clever for knowing about it and so they could come with me. I tried to go earlier this year with Benjy but… I don't know. It didn't feel right."

"Why not? Bet Benjy would have loved to tell everyone he snogged you in the kitchens."

"Shut up," she said but she was smiling. The few months Lily dated Benjy was torture, especially since James and Benjy always got along. Thank Merlin that was over. "You know he wouldn't do that. But I guess it was because this always seemed to be _our_ place. No matter how many people I brought here, it always reminded me of you."

James looked down at his hands, trying very hard to ignore the acrobatics his stomach was doing. This girl was bad for his health.

"It reminds me of you, too," he said.

"After our fight… I just couldn't visit again. I missed it, though" she said, watching the house elves scurry about. James heart sped up and he allowed himself to look at her.

"The house elves missed you, too. Skippy asked about you a few months ago."

The corners of her lips curved up. "I'm glad I left a lasting impression. But it wasn't just the house elves I missed."

There was no way he was interpreting that wrong. Surely she meant she missed _him_.

"Evans, I—"

"Anyway, it's nearly curfew," she said, standing up and stretching her arms behind her back. "We should head back."

"Right," James said, reluctantly following her. He turned to the nearest house elf and asked for a basket of desserts to bring for his friends. She miraculously waited with him while they arranged the basket before they headed back to Gryffindor tower.

"Can I steal some of those to give to Marlene and Mary?"

"'Course," he said, handing the food over to her.

"Thanks." Lily grabbed a few pastries before giving the basket back. "Thank you for coming with me," she said once the met the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I'm always up for adventure, Evans."

"Yes, well, I'll see you tomorrow." She gave the password and climbed through the hole quickly.

"I hope you feel better," he said gently, grabbing her arm and looking directly into her impossibly green eyes. "And I hope you tell _someone_ about your problems. It's not healthy to bottle everything up."

He turned away and started walking back to where his friends were still sitting, leaving a very confused Lily staring after him.

**A/N: **_Thanks for reading! Please review! Next chapter will start to have some more drama and will include more of the marauders. Sorry they weren't really present this chapter. _

_I totally forgot to say this when I originally posted, but Happy New Year!_


	4. Of Hogsmeade Trips and Galloping Does

**A/N:** _Sorry this took a bit longer to update; I'm still recovering from surgery so it's been tough. Also, I keep getting distracted by writing chunks of future chapters. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed! It honestly makes me so happy whenever I get a new notification for this story! _

_This is the first Lily-POV flashback (takes place during fifth year)! Yay! I have to say, this chapter went in a totally different direction than originally intended and a lot of what I expected to be in here won't happen until next chapter. Oops. Anyway, enjoy! _

**Chapter 4: Of Hogsmeade Trips and Galloping Does**

Lily Evans was on a mission. She purposefully made sure she went with Mary and Marlene to Hogsmeade this weekend so Severus wouldn't get annoying and suspicious. They didn't need yet another thing straining their friendship. Besides, they weren't spending very much time in public anymore anyway.

Right now, her mission was failing. She couldn't quite bring herself to tell her friends what she was up to, so she was stuck in Honeydukes, where they had been for the past half an hour.

"Hmm," Mary said, holding two different fudges in her hands. "Which one do you think, Lily?"

"That one," Lily said impatiently, pointing to the box in Mary's left hand. Seriously, did her friends always take this long picking out candy?

"Are you sure? They both look so good."

"So get both!"

"What's wrong with you," Marlene asked.

"I need to go to another store and you two are taking forever!"

"Why? Meeting up with someone?" Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"_No_. But I need to buy something and today's my only chance."

"Sorry, we didn't know," Mary apologized. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

Lily could feel her face heating up so she looked down at the sugar quills in her hands. "I didn't realize you would take so long."

They made their way to the cash register—Mary _had_ decided to go with both fudges—pushing through the crowd.

"What do you need to buy," Marlene asked. Lily pretended not to hear her, thinking her friend would lose interest and move onto another topic. It didn't work. "Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you need to buy?"

"A present," she said reluctantly.

"Ooh, for who," Mary asked.

Thankfully, it was their turn to the register, so Lily was saved the hassle of responding. It was inevitable that they would find out just who she was buying a present for but she didn't know if she had the courage to tell them to their faces. Some Gryffindor she was.

It wasn't even that big of a deal. If she could just control her damn face from blushing whenever she thought about him, they needn't know it meant anything other than a friendly gesture. That's really all it was, anyway. Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she would finally start to believe it.

When they were done purchasing their sweets, they made their way out of the store and into the chilly March air. It was raining, naturally, and freezing so there weren't many people out on the streets.

"Where do we need to go?"

"Can we try Dominic's," Lily asked. The girls nodded so they made their way over to Dominic Maestro's music shop. The bell dinged when they entered and the man behind the desk greeted them cheerfully. They quickly cast drying spells after being drenched from the walk.

"Anything I can help you with, dears," he asked.

"No thank you," Lily replied. "Just looking."

Lily headed to one of the shelves, fascinated with the way wizard albums looked. She wasn't sure whether getting him an album from his favorite band was a good idea or not. It seemed kind of girlfriend-y, which was not the kind of vibe she was going for at all. Truthfully, it would be in her best interest to tell her friends what she was up to. It might help having two additional opinions. The problem was, Lily was horribly embarrassed and didn't know how to properly explain her situation.

She absent-mindedly hummed along to the song playing from the radio as her fingers trailed along the shelves. It was unfamiliar to her, as most wizard music was, but it had a very repetitive tempo that she picked up on.

"You gonna tell us what we're doing here yet," Marlene demanded.

Lily looked up guiltily. "It's for Potter's birthday," she said, trying to keep her voice even.

"You're buying him music?"

"Yes. No. Maybe?" She looked at both her friends and decided that there was no harm in telling them. "Merlin, I'm so confused. What do you get the bloke you have a crush on when you're pretty sure he fancies you back but you absolutely refuse to like him because he's a horrible bully?"

They looked at her with their mouths and eyes wide open. It would be quite comical if she weren't so desperate.

"Yes, I know," Lily said dryly. "Lily Evans has a crush on James Potter. Call the press. Can we please skip the badgering and teasing and move onto the advice? I could use it."

"I knew it!" Marlene pumped her fist in the air. "We should have made that bet, Mary."

"The only reason we didn't make the bet was because I agreed with you, genius."

"You _knew_," Lily asked, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"Well, he's been flirting with you since third year. I honestly thought it would have happened closer to when you started tutoring each other but that's not important," Mary said.

"Just because he was flirting doesn't mean I was flirting back," Lily argued even though she knew fully well she _had _been flirting for at least the past few months.

"You guys have been making eyes at each other all year. Especially ever since you broke up with Henry," Marlene said.

Lily sighed. She was going to bring up Valentine's Day but realized there was really no point in arguing with them when she already admitted to liking the idiot. "Okay, it doesn't matter. The point is, I don't want to date him. He doesn't treat Sev right and he picks on innocent people just because he can. Not to mention he's so full of himself."

"So, why do you like him?" It was a fair enough question. In fact, Lily had asked herself the very same thing multiple times but could never figure it out. He was attractive, sure, but there were plenty of guys Lily found attractive that she was not interested in at all. He always knew what to say or do to make her laugh but that wasn't enough to fancy someone, either.

"I don't know," she sighed. "He's smart and handsome and funny and brave."

"Congratulations, you just described half the Gryffindor house."

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to browsing through the albums. "It doesn't matter why I like him. What matters is I need to get him a present. I want it to be meaningful enough to know that I think he's an okay guy but not overly meaningful so he doesn't get the impression I fancy him. Even though I do."

Eventually they decided that maybe getting a joke present would be a good idea so Lily wound up buying Sleekeazy's Hair Potion so he had something the tame that beautiful hair of his. At first she was concerned that he might take offense to the gift but she knew he could take a joke and if he was offended then it didn't really matter because he was rude to her all the time.

She wanted to send a letter to her parents so she split with her friends, heading to the post office, which could send post the muggle way, while they promised to save her a seat and butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks. When she exited a few minutes later, she was pleasantly surprised to find it had stopped raining.

"Hey, Evans!"

Lily clamped her eyes shut as her heart fluttered in her chest. Checking to make sure the bag containing his present was properly hidden, she slowly turned around to face him.

"Potter."

He grinned and ran up to her. His long nose was red from the cold and his face was slightly flushed. He ran a hand through his already untidy black hair. Lily hated that dumb habit of his. He only did it because he thought it made him look like he just got off a broom, and therefore more appealing. Which, it did but that didn't make it any less annoying.

"How are you," he asked, his hazel eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

"Cold," she said. "I bought your present, you know."

"Did you?" His smile turned into smirk. She wanted nothing more than to remove the smugness from his face, though she was annoyed to find she would find more pleasure using her lips rather than insults to do so. "Mind telling me what it is?"

"No need to be so impatient, Potter. Your birthday's soon enough."

"Too true. And I do love surprises."

"I'm aware."

They stayed like that, him with his stupid smirk and her with her faint smile, looking at each other. They were doing that a lot lately, looking at each other. Lily reckoned she could hardly be blamed, what with the intensity in James' eyes. Anybody would be transfixed by that stare. She realized, belatedly, that perhaps she was being too obvious with her crush and she was giving him the wrong impression.

"Anyway," she said, averting her gaze to somewhere behind him, "I should probably try to find my friends. They'll probably be looking for me."

"Right," he nodded. "Mine too."

Neither of them made a move to part ways.

Lily inwardly cursed herself for being stupid. She really didn't want to give him any false hopes about the nature of their relationship. _Close acquaintances_, she reminded herself. But there was no fooling herself. That silly term she came up with definitely did not apply to them anymore. Close acquaintances didn't buy each other presents or write to each other on breaks or sleep in their beds to comfort them.

Friends then. They were friends. Nothing more. Lily was a very flirty person by nature, flirting with virtually anything that spoke, so maybe James wouldn't notice any of the extra attention she gave him if she could just stop _staring_.

"I'll see you later," she said, turning around to finally separate herself from his presence.

"Wait," he said and he grabbed her wrist gently. She swung back around and looked right into his gorgeous hazel eyes.

She thought she was giving him a questioning look but when he didn't continue, she prompted, "yes?"

He blinked once. Twice. Then said, "We're still on for tomorrow night, right? I need all the help I can get."

"Of course," she smiled. "And will you have time for treacle tart after?"

"There is always time for treacle tart."

"Great. Looking forward to it."

"Me too."

"Well, bye."

"See ya, Evans."

She waited a few seconds, giving him time, but when he still didn't realize she said, "Er, Potter. I need my arm to leave."

He looked down, as though surprised to see he was still holding her wrist. "Oh, sorry," he muttered, immediately letting go and bringing his hand back to his hair.

She smirked at him, loving every second that she could make him uncomfortable. "Later, Potter." With a gracefulness she did not feel, she turned and walked away, making sure to swing her hips more than necessary.

o0o0o0o

They started off in the library, writing their charms papers but somehow ended up alone in a classroom again, practicing patronuses. James wasn't entirely sure how this happened but he couldn't really complain.

Lily was biting down hard on her lip as she concentrated on yet another happy memory. It surprised James that she couldn't think of one happy enough to cast a patronus; she had always struck him as a very happy person. He knew something was going on with her so he chalked it up to that.

"Can you already produce one," she asked after she produced yet another shapeless silver mist. This one looked vaguely animal-like (it looked like it had four legs, maybe) but it still couldn't be considered a corporeal patronus.

"Nope."

"Then why aren't you trying? I thought we agreed we would try together."

"We did. And I will try at some point. But I'm far too amused watching you to try myself." He didn't think it would be a good idea to tell her that her determined, concentrated face was much too distracting for him to try such an advanced spell.

"Jerk." Lily closed her eyes as she thought of another happy memory. "Okay, I got it. _Expecto Patronum!_"

This time it wasn't mist that shot out of her wand, but a big, silver doe. James' eyes widened in shock as he watched it prance around the room for a bit before fading into nothingness. He didn't even register Lily's squeals of delight or the little jig she was doing. He stood transfixed, staring at the spot the doe was just in.

"Potter, I did it!"

He tore his eyes away and focused on the beaming girl in front of him.

"Congrats!" His voice sounded hoarse but clearing his throat didn't help. "That was amazing!"

She titled her head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just thought… never mind. Aren't you going to try now?"

James swallowed and nodded. When he pulled his wand out, he was gripping it so tightly sparks flew out of it. He swore under his breath and closed his eyes. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate after learning her patronus was a doe. He knew that patronuses and animagi forms were not always the same. But he had a horrible feeling his patronus _would_ be a stag. What did that mean about them?

It was probably nothing and James was overreacting but he needed more time to recover from the shock of seeing it.

Without bothering to think of a happy memory, James said, "Expecto Patronum."

Nothing happened.

He hadn't decided whether he wanted to know what his patronus was just yet. He definitely didn't want Lily to see it.

"Maybe you need a happier memory," she suggested, not realizing the crisis that was going on in James' head.

James had been able to produce shapeless forms in class; not quite an animal but firmer than the mist that most people created. Naturally, Lily hadn't been paying attention to him in class though so she couldn't know he was better than _nothing_.

"You know, I just don't think I'm up to it right now. Maybe some other time. Do yours again?"

"Seriously, Potter, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just… tired. I'm really tired. Try yours."

She gave him a look that plainly told him she didn't believe him but didn't push it. They still weren't friends, after all. It was none of her business.

Lily closed her eyes and then shouted, "Expecto Patronum!" Once again, a beautiful silver doe started trotting around the room. It nuzzled against James' chest before heading back to Lily, where it promptly disappeared.

"Apparently my patronus likes you, Potter," Lily said proudly.

"Probably feels bad that mine is so pathetic."

"You barely even tried."

"Minor detail," he said, waving her off. "Wanna head back?" James was not usually the one to suggest leaving but he needed to think and to talk to his friends and the longer he was with her, the antsier he became.

"Sure."

They didn't speak on their walk back but this wasn't anything new. After they entered the common room and said their goodbyes, James walked up the stairs to his dorm, hoping someone would be up there.

Luckily, they all were. James slumped headfirst onto his bed after discarding his backpack onto the floor.

"What's got your knickers in a twist," Sirius asked.

James lifted his head enough to be heard properly. "Her patronus is a doe."

It took a few seconds for this to sink in. Then—

"_A doe?_"

"Are you sure, Prongs?"

"Blimey!"

"Look," James said, sitting up. "We don't know what it means. And I don't even know for sure if mine's a stag."

His friends looked at him skeptically. He had the entire walk back to their room to think of a possible alternative explanation for their matching soul animals and could only come up with one thing that made sense.

"Lily and I are very similar in a lot of respects. We're both proud and stubborn and… majestic."

"Prongs—"

"I know. But like I said, I don't even know what my patronus is. I haven't been able to produce a corporeal one yet. I was supposed to try tonight but I got so distracted by Evans' patronus I couldn't."

"So try now," Remus said.

James looked at him. It would certainly clear some things up but he didn't know if he could do it with his mind running circles in his head.

"Just try."

James hopped off his bed, grabbed his wand from his pocket and closed his eyes. He already knew the first time he rode on a broomstick, being sorted into Gryffindor, and becoming an animagus weren't strong enough memories, as he already attempted with those during class.

Finally, he settled on his friendships. No one could make him as happy as his three best mates. "Expecto Patronum," he shouted. The room was not big enough to handle his patronus but they didn't have a choice as a huge stag erupted from his wand.

They clapped and watched it strut around a bit before it disappeared.

The joy from being able to produce a patronus faded quickly as James realized what he just witnessed. He and Lily had matching patronuses. He had a sinking feeling it was going to be a lot more difficult getting over her now.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L **

When you live in the same room as people for five and a half years, you get to know them pretty well. There comes a point, though, when you need to draw a definitive line. And for years, the marauders all stayed on the right side of the line. That is, a few days before Lily's birthday, where James was becoming a bit too cozy with Sirius' backside and Remus' chest.

Even with Peter transformed as a rat and sitting on Sirius' shoulder, they were too big to fit under the cloak together. Although it was before curfew and they were technically allowed to be walking around, they were planning on sneaking to Hogsmeade and they didn't want to get caught. So, James whipped out his father's trusty invisibility cloak and somehow convinced his friends to get under it with him while they tiptoed through the halls.

"Prongs," Remus whispered. "You're elbow is digging into my ribs again. Keep your arms straight for fuck's sake."

"I can't," he murmured back. "I keep accidentally touching Padfoot's ass."

"Please, we all know that's not an accident."

"Shh someone's coming! Evasive action maneuver 3," James said quickly. The three boys immediately crouched down and shuffled to the wall, pressing themselves against the stone. They were all leaning on each other uncomfortably, crushed between their own bodies and the wall in an attempt to remain completely hidden under the cloak. Remus shifted a bit to clamp a hand over Sirius' mouth who was breathing too loudly for the boy's liking.

Two Ravenclaw girls walked right past them, complaining about the potions homework Slughorn had assigned them. They waited until the girls were completely out of sight before straightening up and continuing down the corridor.

"Okay," Remus said, after being elbowed yet again by James. "Can we switch positions or something? I should not keep getting attacked like this."

"You're better off than I am," Sirius whispered. "You don't have Prongs' crotch permanently against your arse."

"Ew, okay, yeah I'll stay here then."

"You love it, Padfoot," James said, rocking his hips slightly.

Sirius bit back a laugh. "Not with Moony here, Prongs. Have some decency."

"What about Wormtail?"

"Oh, you know he loves to watch."

"There is something seriously wrong with you two," Remus said, but James could tell from his voice that he was also holding back his laughter.

When they reached the mirror, James looked around one more time to make sure there wasn't anyone about before he whispered the password. They slipped in and finally took the cloak off.

"Thank Merlin," Sirius said, swinging his arms around. He placed Peter on the floor who transformed back into a human.

"I do not like watching," he squeaked indignantly. They all laughed and Sirius ruffled Peter's hair.

"We really need to finish that map," Remus said. "Three of us can't fit under there anymore."

"Maybe Padfoot can be a dog. That way people will just wonder what a dog was doing in Hogwarts instead of be suspicious of us," James offered as they started toward Hogsmeade.

"Yeah, that'll go over well. It's not like he looks like the grim or anything."

"Oh yeah."

"We're nearly done with it," Sirius said. "Maybe you can trick Evans into teaching you a few of the thornier charms, Prongs."

"Maybe." James wasn't sure if he liked the idea of Lily finding out about the map and he couldn't think of another reason why he would want to learn such advanced charms. She would get suspicious and ask questions and he was scared he would either tell the truth or pull one of his classic Lily-induced hysteria moments and say something stupid. He wasn't good at tricking her. "Or maybe Moony can get some wisdom from her during prefect rounds."

"Sorry, mate," Remus said. "You're probably the best one to get anything out of her."

"We'll discuss this later. Right now, we need to focus on our main objective."

"Speaking of our main objective," Sirius said with a glint in his grey eyes, "can we make a minor objective?"

"Depends on what it is…"

"Well, we're running low on booze."

"Oh. Yeah, I suppose we could pop by Hogshead if we have time."

When they finally reached Hogsmeade, they cautiously made their way out of the kitchen of the Three Broomsticks, hoping not to draw too much attention to themselves. Since they were the marauders and spent much of their time trying to draw attention, they naturally failed.

"Oi! What d'yeh think you're doing in here," an angry cook yelled. He had no hair on the top of his head but he made up for it with a rather thick beard, which was being restrained by a hair net. The four boys froze.

"No need to yell," James said smoothly. "We're a friend of Rosie. Is she around?"

The man looked at them skeptically before sending another cook to fetch the woman. A moment later, a very curvy lady made her way through.

"You know these boys?" the cook asked.

She looked at the four and they all grinned sheepishly at her. She rolled her eyes and responded, "Yes, I do. Some of our best customers. Come with me, boys."

They followed her out of the kitchen and into the pub of The Three Broomsticks.

"Did you sneak into here again," Madame Rosmerta whispered.

"Important marauder business, ma'am," Sirius replied with a wink. "You know how it is."

She sighed. "You four are going to get me in trouble with Professor Dumbledore one of these day. Off you go."

They made their way through the town, passing shop after shop until they finally reached the jeweler they were headed for.

It was James' idea to get Lily the necklace. Since she was a muggleborn, he figured her parents wouldn't realize how important a witch's seventeenth birthday was. He knew Marlene and Mary would probably get her something nice and possibly even Alice would mail something to her but no one else had the money to spend like he did. And it didn't seem fair that the world's most magnificent witch should go without an equally magnificent seventeenth birthday present.

The problem was, James didn't consider himself to be on good enough terms with Lily to warrant such a gift. So, when he mentioned his dilemma to his friends, they responded valiantly. Instead of it merely being a present from James, they would pass it off as a present from all four of them (the three other boys were even chipping in a portion of the price so they didn't have to lie about it). They hoped she would then be able to take the present in pride instead of straight up rejecting it.

"I'm here to pick up for 'Potter,'" James said to a lady behind one of the counters. She looked suspiciously at the boys.

"What's the order for?" she asked, her voice gravelly.

"A necklace."

The lady nodded and then shuffled to the back. The four marauders all looked at each other anxiously while they waited.

"This it," she asked when she returned. She held out an opened box but wouldn't let them touch it, only look. In the box was a beautiful golden necklace with a golden doe pendant galloping happily in place.

"Yeah, it's perfect," James said. He reached into his pocket and took out a small bagful of galleons. "This should cover it."

The witch carefully counted out the full price, nodded, and handed the box over to James. "The chain is regular gold but the doe is goblin-made. It must be some special lady you're getting that for."

James looked straight in the shopkeeper's beady black eyes and replied, "She is."

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L **

It was well into the evening and James hadn't seen Lily once. He hadn't really expected her to seek him out or anything but he didn't think she would be this elusive. After he woke up, he only ever left the common room for meals or to use the loo. But he never saw her pass by once.

"And then he told me there wasn't ever going to be another girl..."

James perked up. He recognized that voice as belonging to one Felicity Jones, a sixth year who happened to share a dorm with the very girl he's been waiting for. Clutching the box in his pocket, as though making sure it was definitely still there, he rushed toward the girl.

"Felicity! Sarah!"

They peered at him apprehensively. It wasn't that they weren't on friendly terms, it was just that James so rarely had a reason to approach either of them unless they were in class or he was trying to pull a prank.

"Have you seen Lily?"

Comprehension dawned on their faces. "I haven't really seen her all day," Felicity said. "Why?"

Of course Felicity would ask why, the nosy bugger.

"It's her birthday," he said as though it should have been obvious. "Just wanted to wish her a happy 17th before it's over."

"Sorry, we don't know where she is." They turned around, done with the conversation, and went up to their room.

Frustrated, James plopped back down in his seat and tugged at his hair. Giving the gift to her was going to be complicated enough. He didn't expect it to be just as difficult finding the damn girl. James had been with Lily just yesterday and asked if she had any plans for her birthday, to which she replied 'I'm treating myself to avoiding the library.' He thought that meant she didn't really have any plans but apparently he was wrong.

The portrait hole swung open and James looked up excitedly. It was only Sirius, though, swaggering over to take a seat next to James.

"Where've you been?" James asked even though he had an inkling.

"Detention. Give Evans the necklace yet?"

"No. You didn't happen to see her at all today, did you?"

"Can't say I have. Sorry, mate."

"It's no matter. If I can't find her I'll just give it to her in class tomorrow."

Sirius glanced around the room then nudged James, his eyes fixed on a pair of 4th years in the corner. "Those two. Blonde bloke just confessed to being in love with the other fellow but they both already have girlfriends."

Anyone who knew Sirius knew that he got bored very easily. While this sometimes ended with interesting mishaps and adventures, most of the time it just meant his mates had to endure his whining and bitching about how he had nothing to do. That was why in third year Peter came up with a game they could play in public places. One of them would choose a person or group of people and provide a prompt. Then, the boys would act out how they expected the conversation was going (or what the person was thinking about if the target was alone). Sometimes they would get into fake philosophical debates but most of the time it was highly immature and they almost always got strange looks from any eavesdroppers.

At first the boys thought it was dumb and made fun of Peter for even suggesting it. But then one day Sirius was being more irritating than usual and Remus burst out, 'Those three girls are thinking of starting a club. Go!' They wound up spending nearly half an hour talking in falsettos about the horse-grooming club they were going to start and for some reason they thought it was the funniest thing ever and so it became a staple in their keep-Sirius-entertained time.

Thankful for the distraction, James started. "You have to understand, Bob," James always used Bob for names, even if they were a girl, "I'm not saying this to make you uncomfortable. I just had to get it off my chest."

"More like out of your pants," Sirius said in a voice much deeper than his natural one.

"That too. Say you'll leave your girl for me and I'll leave mine. We can get married and adopt little Bob Juniors and spend the rest of our lives together."

"Sorry, babe. I love her too much. We'll just have to have a giant four-way. What do you say?"

"I say the more the merrier." James grabbed Sirius' hand. The both of them were grinning widely at each other, thinking they were the kings of comedy. "Now kiss me, you fool!"

"Didn't know you swung that way, Potter." That was definitely _not_ Sirius.

James dropped Sirius' hand and leapt off the couch, turning to face her. "Evans!"

"Do I even want to know what I just walked in on?" she asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

"We were playing a game! I swear I'm not gay!" he said, running a hand through his hair.

A short laugh escaped her mouth before she clamped it shut. This made James go on a long rant about the rules of the game and how he was completely straight and only liked girls.

"Sure, Potter. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Lily said when she finally collected herself enough to speak.

"Happy birthday," he said, needing desperately to change the subject.

"Thank you."

"I bought you a present." He reached into his pocket and took out the neatly wrapped box. "Well, we—that is to say, the marauders—bought you a present. Here."

"You really didn't have to get me anything," she said, turning a bit pink.

"Nonsense," Sirius said, joining in the conversation only after the embarrassing part ended. "We couldn't let you get away empty-handed on such a big milestone."

"I got a lot of presents," she objected. It was two-against-one, though, so she had no choice but to open the gift.

Lily gasped and picked the necklace up gently, transfixed with the running doe.

"This… is too much," she whispered.

"No it's not," James said. "It's not a big deal or anything. We just wanted to get you something nice."

"I didn't even get you a present on you birthday, Black," Lily said. "And now I'll have to get all of you guys gifts and—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Evans," James interjected. "You don't owe anyone anything. It's not about that. This is just four blokes, trying to do something nice for a great witch on her special 17th."

"This must have cost a fortune. Even with it split four ways it couldn't have been cheap."

"Look, don't worry about the money. Do you like it?"

"I mean, objectively, yes, but—"

"Well, there you go."

"Just keep it, yeah?" Sirius asked. "Haven't you ever heard the expression don't look in the mouth of a gift… and something about a horse. Sorry, it's been a while since muggle studies."

James nodded enthusiastically. "I know what you're talking about! We learned about it third year!"

"Look, I know what you're getting at but I don't care. This is too much." Lily tried to offer the necklace back to James but he pushed her hand back.

"It's non-refundable. And as much as I would love to wear it, I think it suits you better, no?"

She looked down at it and smiled. "I can't believe you got the doe. You only just saw my patronus a week ago!"

James shrugged. "I have connections."

"Alright." She paused, looked at the necklace once more, then gazed back up at James. Her eyes seemed even more impossibly green than usual.

"Alright," she repeated. "I'll keep it but only because my birthday hadn't been as good as I wanted it to be. Thank you Potter, Sirius." Sirius winked. "Don't think this means I'm okay with it. It's just… well, it _is_ gorgeous."

James smirked as he watched her walk clumsily up the stairs to the girls' dorm, glad that he had finally done something right when it came to Lily Evans.

**A/N: **_I feel like the ending was kind of abrupt but it's currently five in the morning and at this point I can't think. Please leave a review telling me what you thought and if there's anything you'd like to see! Thanks for reading! _


	5. Of Decent Dates and Billy Goats

**A/N:** _Shout out to everyone who supported this story by favoriting, following, or reviewing! You guys are the best! I know they don't go to Hogsmeade until later on in the school year but let's just pretend that during the marauder era their first trip was in September. Okay? Okay. I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter 5: Of Decent Dates and Billy Goats**

It was the first Hogsmeade trip of fifth year and James Potter was on a date. The girl, Melody Something-Or-Other was pretty enough—blonde hair, blue eyes, huge tits—and sweet. Plus, she had been laughing at all of James' jokes, which was always a good way to help a bloke's ego. She didn't insist on going to Madame Puddifoot's and she had been surprisingly okay with letting James drag her around everywhere. She was also a fairly good snog. It should have been a decent date.

To be fair, he was having a good enough time. When he pulled her into The Three Broomsticks, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all there and she was okay with joining them. They pulled over two chairs, ordered their butterbeers, and James joined their argument over quidditch teams.

"You're being a bit rude to Melody," Remus said as soon as she left to use the bathroom.

"What do you mean," James asked.

"You've barely spoken to her since you got here. And it's not exactly nice to be sitting with your mates on a date in the first place."

"You could have told me that when I asked to sit here. I've never been on a real date before!"

"Why are you even on a date with her? You don't like her," Sirius said before taking another sip of his butterbeer.

"Who said I didn't like her?"

"It's pretty obvious, mate," Peter said. James frowned; if _Peter_ could tell he wasn't interested in his date, there was no hope.

"I don't know what you're talking about. She's fit."

"Not as fit as _Lily_," Sirius teased. James choked on his drink.

"_What_," he hissed.

"Oh come off it. We know you only asked Melody out because Lily's out with that Williams bloke."

"I do not like Lily," James said firmly and he was reminded of all those times his friends teased him last year about liking her. "If she's not into me, I'm not into her."

"Then perhaps you should pay more attention to the girl who actually _is_ into you instead of trying to get glimpses of Lily and her date," Remus said.

"Merlin, she's here?" Sirius laughed, turning in his seat to see what James and Remus were looking at.

"Knock it off, she'll know we're talking about her," James whispered.

"Well, we are talking about her."

"Bloody hell, why am I friends with you," James groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"Because I keep you honest."

They dropped the subject once Melody came back and James continued to basically ignore her. He was surprised that she didn't give him the slip considering how horribly he was treating her. He honestly didn't mean to. But her only contribution to their conversation was her constant giggling. James wanted a girl who could match his wits, not someone who just incessantly laughed. When directly asked for her opinion, Melody would assert her thoughts but if otherwise unprovoked, she didn't speak. And James didn't feel like going out of his way to make her talk.

Eventually, they agreed to take a trip to Zonko's so James could pick up some more dungbombs and they made their goodbyes (the fact that Lily and her date were also leaving was a complete coincidence). James grabbed Melody's hand, just to prove that he liked Melody and wipe the smirk off his friends' faces. It just made them smirk bigger. Prats.

"Your friends are really nice, James," Melody said once they exited the pub.

"Yeah," he grinned, "they're the best." That was how potential girlfriends should view his mates. They shouldn't think you and your friends are a bunch of arrogant idiots. They should laugh at your jokes and like your friends and let you buy dungbombs. Feeling better about his choice in a date, he squeezed her hand and slowed their walk so they could enjoy each other's company some more.

"Couldn't find a better group of mates even if I tried," he said proudly and she smiled at him. "What're your friends like," he asked. The rest of their walk was filled with stories about her friends, who all seemed pretty nice. That was another positive for Melody—she didn't have any sketchy Slytherin friends.

"So, what's with you guys and pranks," she asked when they entered Zonko's.

"It's a way of life, Melody. It's in my blood."

She laughed and began asking him questions about each product he looked at. It was nice and felt much more natural than the beginning of the date did. She probably just needed to relax a bit. After he purchased everything, they decided to just walk around a bit before heading back to Hogwarts. It was just a coincidence they were taking the same path as Evans and Henry Williams. He began talking about different pranks that he and his friends pulled over the years.

"And it was really you who changed Flitwick's hair pink," she asked, laughter in her voice. James' smile faltered. He had done that last year, after Lily mentioned Flitwick looked like a muggle toy but without the pink hair.

"Yep," he said. "He was so impressed with the charm work that I didn't even get any points off from Gryffindor, just a detention."

Melody giggled and moved onto another prank. She didn't reprimand him for taking detentions so lightly.

When he walked her to the Hufflepuff common room, she turned to him and said, "I had a lot of fun today, James." It was weird being called James and not Potter, but he supposed potential girlfriends should call him by his first name, anyway.

"So did I," he said.

"Maybe we could do this again?"

He looked down at her smiling, hopeful face and stopped short. She was beautiful and kind and funny and everything he should want in a girlfriend. But her hair was much too blonde and her eyes weren't nearly green enough and his ego was big enough without her constant words of affirmation. She should have been perfect but she wasn't. Because she wasn't Lily Evans.

"Er, I don't think so," he said awkwardly.

Her face fell and she sighed. "I thought maybe I was just being paranoid but we really were stalking Lily Evans and Henry Williams all day, weren't we?"

He blanched. He thought he had been pretty sneaky with following them around. Melody never gave any indication of noticing. "Er, no?"

"Why did you ask me out in the first place? If it was to make her jealous there's no point, she's never going to like you."

"It wasn't to make her jealous. I just thought…" James struggled to find the right words. "If I asked you, then maybe I wouldn't feel so shitty about them being together. And it kind of worked. I really did have a good time with you. But I'd be lying if I said I think we're going to go somewhere."

"You seem like a decent bloke," she said slowly, tossing her long, blonde curls over her shoulder, "but Lily Evans doesn't date people like you." Melody turned and started down the corridor towards her common room. "She's too good for you," she added as she turned the corner and vanished.

James stood there for a good minute, letting her words sink in. He knew that she was angry, and rightfully so since he had admitted to fancying a girl while on a date with another girl. That didn't stop the stinging that accompanied her words. She was right, after all; Lily was too good for him. He angrily made his way to the Gryffindor common room. He wasn't paying attention and didn't notice when he almost walked right into someone.

"Sorry," he muttered, planning on continuing his walk before glimpsing who it was he almost steamrolled.

"Evans," he said, surprised.

"Merlin, Potter, are you trying to kill me," Lily joked. Her almond-shaped eyes were gleaming and her pretty lips were curved in a smile. Her hands were curled around his biceps to steady herself.

"I was just…" he trailed off lamely.

"Well, anyway," she said, releasing him and taking a small step back. "How was your day? I saw you and Melody a few times but whenever I did, I could never get your attention."

He had noticed her, of course, trying to wave him down but he didn't want Melody to get jealous. Pointless, really, looking back on it.

"Sorry, I guess I was otherwise engaged."

"No problem. So, do you think you and Melody will go on another date?"

"Doubt it," he said, his voice haughty. "I turned her down just now. Didn't take it very well, poor girl."

"Oh," she said, wrinkling her nose, "well, that's too bad."

"For her, I'm sure. I can do better than Melody," he said because apparently he couldn't help but become an ass whenever Lily was around.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "That's not very nice, Potter. It seemed like you two were having fun whenever I saw you."

"Spying on my date, Evans?" Definitely an ass.

"Good _lord_ you are too much to handle sometimes. No, I was not spying on you. Like I said before, I saw you a few times—there are only so many places to go if you stay on High Street—and she was smiling at you all day. I'm sorry it didn't work out but right now, I'm going to have to say that Melody lucked out more than you did. Dodged a bullet, that one did."

He wasn't entirely sure what that last sentence meant, but he had a feeling it was supposed to be an insult. James watched as she walked past him. He was in a bad enough mood as it was; he really didn't need her telling him off like that, even if it was completely justified.

"Are we still on for tomorrow," he asked once she was well down the hallway. He might have been brave enough to ask, but he certainly wasn't brave enough to turn around and see her reaction.

"I'm not sure," she said and his heart sunk. "Maybe I'm not _good enough_ for you, either."

"Trust me, you're more than good enough."

He had no idea what her face looked like or if she understood how much of an understatement his last remark was but there was a pregnant pause. Then—"Dammit, Potter. Fine, you win. Yes, we're still on for tomorrow. Don't be late and bring your bloody book this time."

He waited until her footsteps completely faded before he trudged his way back to the common room.

She had a boyfriend and was too pushy and hung out with his nemesis and expected too much of him and let him know whenever he was being stupid and didn't get along very well with Sirius. But he knew he was never going to have a decent date with anyone but her because he was completely, horribly, _stupidly_ smitten.

o0o0o0o

Lily Evans had a boyfriend. James had no idea when or how or why this happened but he couldn't deny the proof that was right in front of him. There she was, laughing and smiling and holding hands with some random Ravenclaw that James hated on sight.

"You alright, Prongs?" Sirius asked, slapping his friend's back when he approached him in the hall.

"Yeah." James forced himself to look at Sirius and not at the sickening couple. "Any idea when _that_ development happened?"

James wasn't stupid. He knew that he had seriously destroyed any chance he had with Lily the previous year and the best he could hope for was to not be cut from her life completely. He knew that she would eventually date someone else because any sane, straight man would want her. He knew that one day she was bound to get married and have children and that he would have to grin and bear it. That didn't make the reality any less painful, though.

"Nope. All I know is it is a recent thing and word in the hallway is it won't last long."

"How trustworthy is hallway gossip, though," James asked, refusing to get his hopes up. They began the reluctant trip towards Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Depends," Sirius shrugged.

"What's his name, anyway?"

"Billy Davies, seventh year Ravenclaw."

"That's a stupid name," James said.

"Sounds like a goat," Sirius agreed.

James looked at Sirius. "How do you get goat from Billy Davies?"

"Well, billy goats are a thing, yeah?"

It took merely a second for James to think this over. "He looks like a goat, too."

"He does, doesn't he? Got that weird beard thing going on and his nose is shaped funny."

"I'm much better looking."

"By a longshot, mate."

James sighed and let the topic drop when they took their seats. He didn't particularly enjoy talking about Lily's new boyfriend, even if they were making fun of him. Sirius, bless him, could sense his discomfort and changed the subject.

"What are the chances Professor Hubbart will let me leave class early?"

"Why do you want to leave early in the first place?"

"Come off it, like you wouldn't want to leave if you got the chance."

Professor Hubbart was not too fond of the pair ever since they played on a prank on her back in September. It was relatively harmless—they just made it so everything she wrote one day would automatically translate into Arabic so no one could understand it—but she was furious and had yet to forgive them.

"True. I don't know why we bother showing up in the first place. She doesn't teach us anything we couldn't learn from the textbook. And the textbook won't yell at us."

The professor arrived and began the lecture. Everyone else stopped talking immediately.

"If I had thought ahead I would have brought something to distract her while we made a run for it," Sirius whispered.

"Maybe you can fake an illness and I can bring you to the hospital wing."

"That only works when you're trustworthy."

"Mr. Black. Mr. Potter. Something you'd like to share with the class?" Professor Hubbart's voice boomed across the class.

Everyone turned to look at the pair and James was acutely aware of Lily's green eyes on him. He didn't know why people _still_ had to look at them whenever they were called out in class; he would have thought everyone would be used to it by now.

"Not really," James said. "Private matter, you understand, Ma'am."

"I understand that you were talking while I was trying to teach, Mr. Potter. I will separate you two if I have to."

The boys smiled sweetly and shook their heads. Once Professor Hubbard resumed her lesson, Sirius scribbled 'Evil Cow' on James' notebook. He appreciated the thought well enough, but James couldn't help but think there were too many farm animals at Hogwarts.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

"Do you still want to be an auror," Lily asked, apropos of nothing. They were in the library again, working on a Transfiguration paper. Lily didn't really seem to have trouble with essay-writing or the theory behind transfiguration, it was mainly the actual execution of spells that stymied her. James figured she didn't need his help at all with the essay but she asked and there was no way he would turn down the opportunity to spend more time with her.

"'Course," he said easily. There were a few months when he first made the Gryffindor team where he contemplated doing quidditch professionally but aside from that, James knew he wanted to be an auror ever since he was a little boy. It was what both his parents did and he couldn't think of a more noble cause. "Do you?"

Lily hesitated, looking down at her hands. "I'm not sure," she admitted. James looked at her with surprise. They might have gotten into their fair share of arguments with each other over the years but one thing they always seemed to agree on was that the world would be a better place without Voldemort and his supporters. He always pictured going through auror training with her and fighting the bad guys side by side. Even those awful months they weren't talking to each other, James couldn't picture a future without Lily in it.

"Why not?"

"It's just… I still want to fight," she assured him. She moved her arms as though she was about to reach across the table to James but stilled and let her hands drop instead. "But every day I read _The Prophet _and learn about all the shit the ministry is doing and… I don't know if I want to be a part of that."

James nodded slowly. He knew what she meant, of course. The ministry seemed to care more about image than the actual take-down of death eaters. More often than not, he'd read about someone getting sent to Azkaban without a proper trial. Death eaters were getting off if they provided names. It wasn't right, what they were doing. But…

"How else are you supposed to fight, if you don't become an auror?"

"I don't know and that's my problem."

"We'll think of something," James said confidently.

"We?"

"You don't think I'd let you get a sweet gig without me, did you?"

A reluctant smile bloomed across Lily's face. "You're not so bad, Potter. Remind me, next time I start yelling at you."

James bit down a laugh. "You bet it, Evans."

They lapsed back into silence. Lily went right back to working on her essay but James was thoroughly distracted now. It never occurred to him that there may be a better way to fight dark wizards. His father certainly never mentioned anything and whenever he discussed his future career with McGonagall, she failed to point out a non-ministry job. Still, if there was a way, he was determined to find it.

James looked down at his half-complete essay then glanced at Lily. She was hard at work, scribbling away again. A few strands of red hair fell out of her bun, framing her face. He wondered what about human transfiguration caused her to think of their careers as aurors and how she could go from such a serious topic straight back to mundane schoolwork. _He_ couldn't get the idea out of his mind.

"Shouldn't you be doing your work?" Lily's voice wrenched him from his thoughts.

"Can't. You've successfully distracted me."

"I know I'm sexy, Potter, but you've got to get past that."

James smirked, glad that her unbearable sexiness wasn't (for once) the cause of his neglect. "Don't flatter yourself; you're not that good-looking."

Lily pretended to gasp and threw a previously crumbled piece of parchment at him. "Rude. I retract my previous statement of you not being bad."

"Hey," James laughed, holding his hands up in mock-surrender, "I'm just trying to be honest here. I think that makes me fantastic."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel good."

James felt something warm bubble up inside him. Their bantering and teasing felt so familiar that it was easy to forget that they had ever stopped this. It wasn't quite the same as it used to be but it was loads better than he could have possibly ever imagined.

His response was on the tip of his tongue, begging to be released into the open air between them but James bit it back. It was way too flirty and he knew they weren't on the right terms to warrant such a statement, especially when she had a boyfriend. Instead, he gave her the boring response of, "I try."

"But really," Lily said, all business again, "what was distracting you?"

"I was just thinking about what you said about aurors and stuff."

"I didn't mean to insult you or anything," she said hastily. "There's nothing wrong with becoming an auror."

"No, I know. But I can't help but agree with you. If we can actually figure out another way to be actively involved in the war without having to deal with senseless politics, I'd love to."

"Really?" Her eyes brightened and James looked away quickly. She was too beautiful to handle sometimes. Naturally, this made him put up his defenses.

"No, I just said that for fun."

"You're not funny when you're sarcastic."

"Who says I was being sarcastic?"

"You're so full of it," she said and James flinched when he heard a note of annoyance in her voice, even though that was the desired effect. "Are you capable of having a real, honest discussion?"

"Nope," he said cockily. Since he was still looking at the table and not her mesmerizing face, he only heard her take a deep breath. He prepared himself for the onslaught of anger that was about to ensue.

"Well, luckily for you," she said with a surprisingly calm voice, "I know how passionate you are about fighting in the war so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and tell you that I would very much like to research career alternatives with you."

That was not what he was expecting. At all. He stared at her while his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

"That—that sounds great," he stuttered.

All of her anger seemed to completely disappear. "Great! I tried talking to Mary and Marlene about my doubts but they didn't get it. I knew you would, though. You always do."

On a normal day, this declaration would have elated James but for some reason all James could think about was Billy-The-Fucking-Goat-Davies. She had gone to her two closest friends and then to _James_, not Billy.

"I always do," he repeated, trying his best to keep his bitterness out of his voice. It wasn't Lily's fault that she was dating a goat. It was, completely and entirely, James' fault she wasn't dating him and he really didn't want to take out his anger on her.

"We really should get back to work though. We can talk about this another time, okay?"

James nodded and brought his textbook closer to him. After a few minutes of moping, he eventually got back into the essay and set off. Human transfiguration was an easy subject for James so he barely even needed to refer to the book. He couldn't wait until they got to animagi, as that was the next unit and a topic very close to James' heart.

They sat in silence for another half an hour before a bleating voice interrupted them with a jolly, "Lily!"

"Billy," she whispered happily.

James looked up at the man disrupting them and took in his curly black hair and ridiculous beard. He had no idea what Lily saw in him. Also, their names rhymed.

"Hullo, Goatman," James said in a falsely friendly voice.

"What'd you call me, Potter?" Billy asked angrily. James was pleased that the goat knew his name.

"Don't take it personally," Lily cut in. "He gives everyone the most ridiculous nicknames."

Billy visibly relaxed at this news. "What does he call you, then?"

"Evans, usually," James said. "Used to call her 'Ginger' but she always got mad at that one. Occasionally I'll go with the classic 'Red' but that's a rare occurrence."

"I got mad because I am not a ginger," Lily asserted.

"Right," Billy said. "Anyway, we should get going, Lily. Wouldn't want to be caught out after curfew, would we?"

James looked between the two indignantly. "We were working. It's rather important so maybe you can catch a broom closet another time."

"Get your head out of the gutter, Potter. We weren't going for a snog," Lily said, gathering her things. She turned to Billy. "I didn't realize how late it was, I'm sorry. I'll be ready in a sec."

"Take your time, darling."

"Yes, _darling_," James drawled, unable to keep his irritation out of his voice. "Take your time. Those closets have all night."

"Oh sod off, Potter. I promised Billy we could go on a walk tonight after we did our work."

"I'm sure Goatman is looking for just a romantic walk in the moonlight." The boy in question clenched his fist but James paid him no mind.

"I don't get you. One minute you're perfectly pleasant to be around and the next you're the most insufferable lummox I've ever had the misfortune of meeting," Lily growled under her breath.

"That's me," James said lazily, looking at his fingernails. "The most insufferable of all lummoxes. Glad we got that sorted out."

"Ugh," Lily groaned as she stood up. "I don't know why I put up with you."

"Just forget it, flower," Billy said, putting a supporting hand on Lily's arm. "He's not worth your aggravation."

"You put up with me," James said, rising from his seat. "Because I'm—and I quote—'not so bad.'"

"I was clearly mistaken when I said that." Lily clutched something near her chest and James realized with a pang it was the necklace he and his friends had given her just the night before.

"Look," he said, "I've been in a foul mood and I got annoyed that you were leaving before I finished my essay. I'm sorry."

Lily's face softened. "You've no right to take your anger out on others," she said strictly but without malice.

"I know," he said sincerely. "I shouldn't have and I'm sorry."

Lily shrugged and grabbed Billy's hand. "You're a smart boy, Potter. Use that brain of yours before you speak."

"I'll try. It's hard for us lummoxes, you know."

"Oh, shush. I'll see you tomorrow."

With a short nod, Billy led Lily out of the library. James watched them leave before falling into his chair. He looked at his belongings scattered about in front of him and decided that it was futile attempting to finish the essay now.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

James loved Peter, he truly did, but the pudgy boy wasn't the best person to go to for advice. He was too scared of saying the wrong thing and too often just agreed with whatever James said. This was nice on a day to day basis but when James had a problem, it didn't help much. Unfortunately, when James arrived in his dorm, Peter was the only one there.

"How was the library," Peter asked. He was on his bed, sorting through his chocolate frog collection.

"Mixed bag," James replied before diving headfirst onto his own bed. He grabbed his pillow and squashed it under him, holding onto it as if his life depended on it.

"What happened?"

"Goatman showed up."

"Goatman…?"

"Billy."

"Ah. Fitting."

"I thought so."

James remained silent for a few minutes, listening to the swish of the cards as Peter moved them about. It was oddly relaxing.

"Need any help," James eventually asked, rolling over to face his friend.

"Nah. I have a system going."

"I don't know what to do." James had tried to hold it in, to wait until Sirius or Remus showed up but he always had a problem keeping his mouth shut.

"About Lily and Goatman?"

"Obviously."

"What are you supposed to do? Break them up?"

"No. If she's happy with him then I wouldn't want to do that. I want to forget about her."

"So forget about her. You've been chasing her long enough. Maybe now you can be proper mates." Peter didn't look up from his cards once.

_If only it were that easy_. "Proper mates would be nice," James mused. "She's probably the nicest person I've ever met. Puts up with me far more than she should."

"Do you think you'll be able to get over her?"

"Not in a million years," James said honestly.

"That's bad luck."

"I'm aware."

Maybe it was good that James only brought it up to Peter. It was evident that the poor boy didn't want to talk about Lily again but he was too nice to protest. Sirius wouldn't have been quite as polite.

"I'm glad we're mates, Wormtail. You're a good friend." James probably said something similar to his three roommates a few times a year. He realized he could be incredibly sappy and vowed to stop.

"So are you, Prongs. Even if you only ever talk about quidditch and Lily."

"Oi! That's not true! I talk about loads of stuff!"

Peter chuckled. "I was only kidding, Merlin."

Just then Sirius burst into the room, looking murderous. He slammed the door shut behind him and stormed over to his bed.

"Who pissed in your cauldron," James asked.

Sirius merely glared at him before pulling his curtains shut. James and Peter shared a look. It was best to let Sirius cool off a bit before trying to talk to him.

Once Remus finally joined them fifteen minutes later, James decided he had given Sirius plenty of time. He marched over to Sirius' bed and yanked the curtains open.

"Bugger off, Prongs." Sirius said, rolling over to face the other way. "I'm in no mood for one of your motivational speeches."

James ignored this. "Budge over or I'll sit on you."

Sirius muttered something under his breath but he did wriggle forward to make room on the bed. James sat down and began playing with a hole in the sheets. The three marauders waited patiently for their fourth member to start speaking.

"Regulus," Sirius spat out finally. James glanced at Remus with dread.

"What'd he do?"

Sirius sat up quickly. The movement nearly knocked James off the bed but he steadied himself.

"So I was charming all the doors in the DADA hallway to not let a certain professor get through when I heard a scream." Sirius still wasn't facing anyone but James didn't need to see his friend to know he was still glowering. "I ran toward where it came from and Regulus and a bunch of other Slytherins have her cornered and they're _laughing _at her. At her pain.

"She put up a good fight but it was five versus one and by the time I got there, they were already running away. I managed to get one of them but it was too late. Everyone else got away. I took her up to the hospital wing. There was blood everywhere." Sirius turned and punched his pillow as hard as he could.

"You did the best you could," James said. "And they probably only left because you showed up. It could have been worse."

"It was my _brother_, Prongs. He was one of them. I don't know if he cast any of the spells but he was still there. Laughing. The blood... It really is too late for him. I kept hoping…"

"I know, Padfoot. It's—"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Not right now."

James nodded and got up. He was getting onto his bed when Remus asked, "Who was the girl?"

"It doesn't matter," Sirius mumbled.

"Padfoot."

Sirius sighed and turned to face them for the first time. His eyes sought out James. Amidst the anger and pain James could make out the hesitation swirling in his grey eyes.

"It was Lily," Sirius admitted reluctantly. "They got Lily."

**A/N:** _Dun dun dunnn! Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a review to let me know what you think!_

_And to answer alyia's question (is there another way to respond to people who aren't signed in?)- I don't really have a set schedule of when I post. I try to post as frequently as possible and I don't think I've gone longer than two and half weeks but it depends on how long it takes to write. I know that doesn't really help but you can PM your email if you want me to notify when I update or you can follow me on tumblr (link in my profile). Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like it!_


	6. Of Poor Lighting and Hospital Fighting

Flashback is Lily's POV, about a month before O.W.L.'s.

**Chapter 6: Of Poor Lighting and Hospital Fighting**

Severus always insisted on sitting in the back corner of the library. Lily wouldn't mind the poor lighting it provided if it weren't for the fact she knew he was hiding from others seeing them together. She sighed loudly as she turned the page in her Arithmancy book.

"What's wrong?" Severus whispered, finally taking her bait. Lily had been sighing dramatically for the past fifteen minutes.

"It's so dark over here. Can't we find somewhere brighter?"

"I like this table, you know that."

"Yes," she said carefully. As insulted as she was that he was trying to hide their friendship, she didn't want to start yet another row. It seemed that every one of their interactions lately led to an argument of some sort. "But it's hard to study when I have to squint to see the text."

"Surely a witch as clever as you can figure out a solution to your problem," he asked dryly. Lily was relieved that he was merely teasing her; there was no harshness in his tone at all. Still, she wasn't ready to back down yet.

"Well, yes but that's not the point."

"What exactly is the point, Lily?"

"I want to sit somewhere else."

"We always sit here."

"I know it's just… never mind. You're right." She turned her attention back to her book, unwilling to ruin their time together.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Forget I said anything."

He gave her a long, piercing look before returning to his mutterings and scribbles. It was no use though. Lily had to squint to read her book and she always loved watching Severus come up with new spells.

"What spell are you working on now," she asked curiously. She thought he was brilliant for being able to come up with his own spells and admired the fact that he just _got_ magic.

He immediately covered his papers and scowled. "It's none of your business."

"I won't show anyone this time, I promise."

"That's what you said last time and now people are constantly being hung upside down."

"That was a moment of weakness," Lily pleaded. She had overheard Potter and Black trying to figure out what spell it was and Lily couldn't help but show off. Potter was always rubbing in how much he knew, she wanted to get one up on him. She only realized afterward that she revealed the spell to the two worst people possible. "It won't happen again."

"No, it will not," he said without removing his arms.

"Come on, Sev. We're supposed to be best friends," she said, mimicking the words he was always throwing at her. For some reason, the words sat uncomfortably on her tongue but she brushed it off. "Best friends show the cool spells they're working on."

"Drop it, Lily."

"Fine." Lily pretended to go back to reading. She watched from the corner of her eye as Severus relaxed and went back to work. Without pause she reached for the top parchment, grabbing it away before he registered what happened.

Her eyes quickly scanned the parchment, growing wider with every word.

"What the bloody fuck is this?" she asked, all teasing gone from her voice.

Severus went to snatch it back but Lily held it out of his reach.

"Nothing. Give it back."

"Is it what I think it is?"

"No. Just give it to me and I will explain."

"Explain why you're trying to create a spell that cuts people open?"

"Lily just—"

"Get out."

"Lily."

Lily ripped the paper to pieces, glaring at Severus who refused to leave. She took her wand and used it to set the bits on fire.

"I don't want to see you right now."

"If you'd just let me explain…"

"I _will_ start yelling and get both of us kicked out right now."

"Fine. I'll go but promise me you'll let me explain later."

"Whatever. Just get out of my face."

Severus put his materials in his bag and stood up. "Promise me, Lily."

"I promise," Lily said, unsure if she meant those words or not.

Satisfied with her promise, Severus left the library without more ado, leaving a fuming and confused Lily to stir in her thoughts. She took a few deep breaths to calm down and when that didn't work, she folded her arms on the table and buried her head in them.

She stayed like that for quite some time, battling with herself as she tried to make sense of what just occurred. Rationally, Lily knew what it meant. She was smart enough to know that Severus had mostly future death eater friends, took too much pleasure mocking Petunia, and apparently tried to make awful, terrifying spells. If you added those things up, it would lead to the assumption that Severus was not the best person.

And yet.

Wasn't _she_, Lily Evans, a muggleborn? Surely, if he hated muggleborns as much as his friends did, he wouldn't constantly seek out Lily's companionship. He was the one who originally approached her and told her it didn't matter that her parents were muggles. She refused to believe that someone as caring and thoughtful as Severus could be as evil as all her friends said. There had to be a logical explanation for the spell she caught him working on. She couldn't think of one but that didn't mean it didn't exist.

"Tired, Evans?"

Lily groaned. James Potter was the second to last person Lily wanted to see at that moment.

"Go away Potter," she grumbled, keeping her head safely tucked in her arms.

"Are you okay?" The chair next to her scraped against the floor.

"I said go away," she said, lifting her face. He was a lot closer than she originally thought and it threw her off. His hazel eyes were staring at her with concern and she couldn't handle it. It was not the time for swooning. "What are you doing here?"

"Weren't we supposed to be studying together tonight?"

"Oh. Right, of course. Sorry." She sat up straighter and started to clear her Arithmancy stuff.

"You sure you're alright?"

"Yes. Let's get to work."

He didn't look convinced. Lily prayed that for once in his life Potter would learn how to let things go. He was so damn persistent.

"Why are we here anyway? It's so dark."

"What is this, twenty questions?"

Potter tilted his head in confusion but didn't ask another question. He merely transformed a spare quill into a candle, took his books out, and quietly set to work.

They worked in silence—or rather, Potter worked while Lily continued to brood over Severus—for fifteen minutes before Potter finally snapped. "Okay, tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong, Potter."

"Bollocks," he said. "You haven't turned a single page since I got here and you've got a weird look on your face."

"My face looks fine, thank you very much." She could feel the residual anger from Severus building up again and she knew that poor Potter was going to be the unfortunate recipient of it if she couldn't control herself.

"Not arguing with you on that one, Evans. More than fine, if you ask me. But really, just tell me what's wrong."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Look, clearly something's got you upset, why don't you just—"

"Merlin, Potter! I don't want to talk to you about it, okay? You don't need to know every damn detail of my life!" she tried to keep her voice as low as possible but it was hard when her natural inclination was to scream.

"I'm not asking for every detail," he said. Lily could tell his temper was rising as well but he was much better at reigning it in. "But you're obviously upset about something and I want to help."

"Don't you get it, Potter? I don't want _your_ help." Lily was so tempted to tell him everything—all her thoughts and fears that surrounded her slippery best friend—but she didn't want to see his smug face or hear his _'I told you so.' _Because of course he would automatically think the worst of Severus. They hated each other.

"But I want to help you. You're always so closed off, maybe if you—"

"Fuck, Potter." He was never going to let this go. He was going to keep pushing until he got the information out of her and she couldn't have that. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm only closed off to _you_ because I don't want _you_ to know very much about _me_ because I don't trust _you_?"

"You… don't trust me?"

She did. Maybe not with everything but she certainly trusted him with her life, loyal as he was. "No. I don't. Now, can we please move on and get back to work?"

He watched her cautiously. "Whatever, Evans. I'm not going to fight with you right now. I know you trust me so there's no point lying but if you want to pretend otherwise, go right ahead." He picked up his transfiguration book and continued reading, only speaking to explain harder-to-grasp theories.

**o0o0o0o**

James sprang out of his bed immediately. "What do you mean they got Evans?" he demanded. "Why wouldn't you mention that earlier?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this, you ponce," Sirius said. "You're completely irrational when it comes to Lily."

"Just because I care about her—"

"You want to race right on down to the Hospital Wing right now even though curfew's already started, don't you?"

"Of course I do! I have to make sure she's okay!" It wasn't like he hadn't broken curfew a million times before.

Remus and Peter were both tactfully pretending they weren't paying attention to the two boys; Peter went back to sorting through his cards and Remus was staring at an open page of a book.

"She's with Madame Pomfrey," he said coolly. "Your presence won't magically heal her, Prongs. And you're not even friends. I know you care about her but going down there is for your own selfish reasons, not some half-assed idea of nobility and chivalry. If you want to check on her, you can do so tomorrow at a normal time."

James wanted to argue more. Sirius certainly had a point that his urge to go there was to assuage his own anxiety but he didn't see why he shouldn't be allowed to. If anything, going when Lily was sleeping would be better because she need not even know he cared. Something in Sirius' eyes stopped James, though. There was nothing he could do for Lily at this point but his best friend was still shaken up about the entire affair and James couldn't leave him.

Taking a deep breath, James relaxed back onto his bed. He was glad to see that Sirius seemed to calm down when he realized James wasn't going anywhere.

Now that their argument over visiting Lily was over, though, Sirius went right back to fretting over his brother. James wished he could offer more help but the fact of the matter was, he had no idea what it must be like for Sirius. They would talk about it, occasionally, and usually only when Sirius was inebriated, but he didn't _know_ what it was like having the kind of family Sirius did. So, he did the only thing he knew Sirius asked for when his family was involved and went for distracting him.

"Did you manage to do it," James asked.

"Do what?"

"Charm all the doors in the DADA corridor?"

Remus and Peter looked up from their fake activities, realizing things were finally calming down.

"You know," Sirius said slowly. "I don't think I did. Sad, that. I'll have to try again tomorrow."

"No, you should wait 'til we have her again. Class might get cancelled."

Sirius beamed at him. "Good plan. Then we won't have to fake an illness next time."

"Exactly. How could you overlook such an obvious flaw in your original plan?"

"Eh, you know me. I didn't have a plan. I thought of an idea so I did it, no thinking involved."

James pretended to sigh. "How many times do we have to go over this?" He threw Sirius a pointed look. "This is why you have to come to me with your ideas, Padfoot."

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

It was too quiet when James finally woke up the next morning. His alarm clock didn't wake him up, so he assumed it was still early but there was no snoring Peter to confirm his suspicions. He sleepily pushed his curtains open and grabbed his glasses off his nightstand. All the other beds were empty.

James glanced at his watch and jumped out of bed immediately. It was nearly 8; if he rushed, he could grab a quick breakfast before heading to Transfiguration. Skipping his shower, he got dressed in his school robes, brushed his teeth, and sprayed extra cologne.

He showed up a couple minutes late to class and muttered a quick 'Sorry' to Professor McGonagall before taking his seat next to Sirius.

"Why didn't you wake me up, you wanker," James whispered, keeping his eye on McGonagall.

"Thought you could use the extra rest," Sirius muttered back. Mary was at the table in front of them, the seat beside her empty, valiantly trying to stay awake.

"You turned my alarm off."

"Oops?"

"I hate you all."

James took out his parchment and quill and spent the rest of class taking very extensive notes. If Lily couldn't be in class, the least he could do was make sure she got the next best thing. It was double transfiguration, too, which meant she was missing a lot.

"Mr. Potter, would you mind staying behind? I'd like to talk to you about something." Professor McGonagall said after class ended. Figuring it had something to do with his tardiness, James nodded and walked to her desk.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Professor, I—"

"It's quite alright, Potter. I noticed you weren't at breakfast either and assumed you were with Miss Evans at the Hospital Wing."

He wasn't but if that would get him out of a detention, then sure.

"Er, then what did you want to talk about, Professor?"

"Miss Evans has been doing a lot better in my class recently and Professor Flitwick mentioned you were doing better in charms. Have the two of you put away your petty differences and started tutoring each other again?"

"How did you…?"

"Professors aren't as oblivious as students would like to believe, Mr. Potter."

"Right."

"I know it's a bit imprudent, bringing this up when Miss Evans is injured but if you're to start it, it really must be soon. We were hoping to start a tutoring system within Hogwarts and wanted you and Lily to be in charge of it."

James' mouth opened in surprise. "What?"

"You would have to make sign-up sheets for each of the houses; Miss Evans could distribute them to the other houses' prefects. It would be your responsibility to match up tutor and student and figure out a way to ensure everyone is attending their sessions."

"Why us? Wouldn't it make more sense to have the Heads do this or something?"

"The Head Boy and Girl have enough responsibilities to worry about. It should be noted, though, that this would help both of your chances at getting the Heads position for next year."

James was at a loss for words. He couldn't tell if she was being serious about the Head Boy thing. "Come off it," he said, forgetting who he was talking to. "I'm never getting Head Boy."

"You are an incredibly strong contender, Mr. Potter. You are exceptionally bright, hard-working, and have proven to be a capable captain. I see no reason why you shouldn't be."

"I'm not even a prefect," James protested. A small smile was forcing its way onto his face; he was convinced she was pulling his leg. "And I've racked up more detentions than every other student combined."

"I will admit, your previous antics work against you but the other professors see potential in you. I certainly think you would be a perfectly apt Head Boy."

James wasn't the blushing type—in fact, he only ever seemed to blush when Lily was involved—but James felt his face heating up at McGonagall's praise. He had a tremendous amount of respect for the witch and to hear her have so much confidence in him made him prouder than he would ever admit.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"I'll let you think about it but I expect a response by the end of the week."

"Yes ma'am," James said, giving her a small salute. He rushed out before she could fluster him even more and headed to the Hospital Wing.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

She was sleeping when he finally arrived. Billy was lazily doing homework in the chair next to her and looked up when he heard James approaching.

"What are you doing here," Billy asked but James paid him no mind. All he could see were her arms, neck, and face but there were cuts all over them. He could only imagine what the rest of her body looked like. He felt sick as he took a seat on the other side of her.

"What happened?" he asked, not bothering to take his eyes off the resting girl. He knew, of course, the basics but he only got a disjointed, angry retelling from Sirius. James needed to know the truth and if the only person who could tell him was 'Goatman' then so be it.

"I'm not sure. I only got to see her for a few minutes before class and she wasn't really up to talking about it. All I know is what's been flying around school."

James nodded. Neither said anything after that. The scratching of the quill indicated Billy went back to his work.

James never liked the smell of the hospital wing. It smelled too clean and had this weird, strong scent he couldn't identify. That never stopped him from visiting though. After Remus mentioned once how lonely it could be, staying in the hospital wing alone, James made sure to visit everyone he knew who landed themselves a bed in the place.

"Madame Pomfrey said earlier that she's healing well," Billy finally said after a few minutes.

"That's…good. I guess."

They lapsed back into silence only this time, James felt incredibly awkward. He could only imagine what Billy must think of him, staring at _his_ girlfriend with so much pain and anger and whatever else he was feeling at the moment. It was hard to believe that just last night he was being so bitter and jealous about them going for a walk together.

"Wait," he said a bit too loudly, causing Billy to jump. He glanced at Pomfrey's office but she didn't come out to scold him. "I thought you were with her. Where the hell were you when they attacked her?"

"She had just dropped me off at Ravenclaw and was probably on her way back from there."

"You let her wander around Hogwarts at night? Are you daft?"

"I didn't have a choice, did I? The bloody woman is too damn stubborn for her own good."

James couldn't argue with that one. He wasn't letting this issue go, though. "So you pretend to be dropped off and follow her until she's safe!"

"What? You're mental, Potter."

"She's a muggleborn! Surely a Ravenclaw like you would be smart enough know what's going on right now."

"The anti-muggleborn movement, you mean?"

"It's not safe for people like her. It should be and one day I know it will be but right now it's not. And letting her traipse through the halls alone is asking for trouble. She likes to pretend nothing bad will ever happen to her but that's not the reality."

"You should lower your voice, Potter," Billy said icily. "Wouldn't want to wake up your little crush."

"Nice try," James said, but his voice was indeed much softer. "But you can't change the subject so easily. You were wrong and you know it."

"Let's get one thing straight. _I_ am Lily's boyfriend. She hasn't said a single thing about you the entire time I've known her so she clearly doesn't think of you very often. You have no right to come in here and boss me around. Lily wanted to walk by herself, so I let her. Maybe you would have done things differently if you were dating her but you're not."

James stared at the boy incredulously. He found it hard to believe that Goatman was being so weirdly protective and jealous when James was only concerned for the girl's safety. It had nothing to do with his feelings toward her and everything to do with the fact that she was unconscious in the hospital wing with cuts everywhere.

"I never said she was anything but your girlfriend," James said. "But your way of boyfriend-ing has landed her here."

"This was not my fault. It wasn't Lily's either. It was the people who attacked her."

"I know but I can't yell at _them_, can I?"

Billy sighed and slumped further into his chair. "No," he admitted. "And neither can I. I'm sorry I got so angry, I know you and Lily are just mates."

James blinked in surprise. "And I'm sorry I blamed you," James said, though he wasn't entirely sorry. "I bet Lily would have broken up with you if you tried to follow her."

"Yeah," Billy laughed. "She would."

They fell into a forced conversation about classes and quidditch, both of them trying their best to ignore the injured girl laying between them. James wasn't sure how he felt getting all chummy with Lily's boyfriend. On the one hand, it was nice to know that he actually was a decent guy and James trusted him well enough to treat her right. On the other hand, James hated that Billy was a decent guy and wished he could find something overbearingly wrong him so Lily would dump him.

Eventually, lunch time ended and Billy needed to get to his class.

"I have free now," James responded to Billy's questioning look. "I'll probably give her another ten minutes to wake and then I'll head out of here too."

Billy nodded and headed toward the door. "Thanks for keeping me company. You missed all of lunch…"

"So did you," James pointed out. "Besides, I have other ways of getting lunch in."

"Ah, right. Marauder, and all that."

James grinned and gave a final nod before bringing his attention back to Lily. Now that Billy was gone there was nothing to distract him from staring at all the markings on her skin. It unnerved him, yet he couldn't look away.

He glanced at his watch—only five minutes had passed. He wanted to stick to word and wait another five minutes before leaving but he couldn't take it any longer. Gathering his things, he rose and started to the door.

"Potter?"

James spun around and locked eyes with Lily.

"Evans." He floated toward her and sat back down.

"I was wondering when you would visit," she said. "All your friends visited this morning."

"They did?" he asked. So, not only did they not wake him up, but they must have visited her before breakfast.

"Yeah. What time is it now? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"It's a free for me."

"Ah. Well, thanks for being here. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was all alone. It wasn't enjoyable."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest. He knew he should have snuck down there last night.

"Weird. I'm in pain but Pomfrey has me on some kind of potion so it's sort of numbed down. Anyway, do you know who's bringing me my notes and homework? I haven't—"

"I have them. I made sure to pay extra attention for you."

"Oh." She looked surprised. "You didn't have to do that. I thought Marlene or Mary would…"

"I know but we're study buddies and Mary was sleeping in transfiguration so I figured it'd be best if I do it."

"Oh. Well, thanks." James passed her Lily's books he got from her friends and the notes he took in class.

"Also, McGonagall tracked me down after class and asked if we would be interested in starting a tutoring club. We don't have to talk about it now but I thought I'd let you know."

"Wait, really?" she asked excitedly.

"Would I lie?"

"No, but that's good isn't it? Did she tell you why? Tell me everything."

James was taken aback by how happy the news made her; he saw the task as another thing he would have to worry about. He went over the entire conversation, loving the way she was absorbing his every word.

"She really thinks I have a shot at head girl?"

"You're joking."

"I mean, I knew I must be in the running at the very least but still…"

"Lily, the position is practically yours. I don't see what you're stressing about."

"I'm not stressing."

"Definitely stressing."

"Shut up. I'm injured. You should be nice to me."

James rolled his eyes at how immature she could be. "Speaking of injuries, what exactly happened?"

Lily's face fell. "A bunch of Slytherins ganged up on me. I must have sent at least two of them to the hospital wing as well and probably would have beaten them but then… well, it doesn't matter because Black got me here and Madame Pomfrey says there shouldn't be any scarring so it all works out, right?"

"What the hell did they hit you with? I've never even heard of a spell that does this."

"I don't know," she said, shifting uncomfortably in her bed. James immediately shot out of his chair and reached a hand over to help her. "I'm fine," she muttered.

"You didn't hear what they said?"

"No, alright? Just drop it."

"Do you at least know which one did it?"

"I'm not really sure, probably Avery. It wasn't Regulus, if that's what you were getting at. I already told Sirius not to worry."

James relaxed at that. It stung, again, hearing that his friends visited without him but he pushed that aside. "And you're absolutely sure you don't know the spell? Did Pomfrey recognize it at least?"

"No, she didn't."

"I'm assuming you already told Dumbledore what happened, right? Did he seem like he knew?"

"Potter, just stop. No one knows what the damn spell was."

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"I'm not! You're being difficult."

"I'm just concerned about you."

"Well, stop. No one asked you to be. I don't even know why you're here, it's not like we're friends."

"Oh, cut the crap, Evans," James said, trying not to get too angry with her. He figured it had something to do with the curse, or maybe even the potions she mentioned earlier but she was being especially unreasonable. "You can't keep using that same line with me. We see each other every day."

"We study together, Potter. Don't mistake that as willingness to see you. You're just a frustratingly good teacher."

"So, if the spots were reversed, you wouldn't visit me in the hospital wing?" James raised an eyebrow at her, sure he had caught her.

She looked him straight in the eye and said, "I probably wouldn't, no."

James searched her face, trying to find any hint that she was lying or joking or something but she looked genuinely serious. "I guess I'm not as heartless as you are then."

"Just because we're not friends doesn't mean I'm heartless. Merlin, you're just as conceited as you used to be."

There were very few times when James ever got angry with Lily. Frustrated? Yes. Annoyed? Absolutely. But angry? The only other time he could recall being mad at her was when she ignored him during O.W.L.'s week, but even then, he came up with excuses for her. He was done with excuses.

"I may be conceited but at least I have friends. You refuse to let people in and then mope around when there's no one to talk to! You're nice and all Evans, but you're an absolute shit friend. I feel bad for Marlene and Mary. Even Billy."

"How dare you! I don't let people in? No Potter, I don't let _you_ in. It's just you because we are not, never were and never will be, friends!" She took a calming breath before continuing in a cold voice, "we are just two people who need to work together to get top grades."

James glared at her. He thought back to all the previous times she said they weren't friends. Funny, how it hurt so much more now even though she'd mention it on numerous occasion. If James really thought about it, he didn't consider her a friend until he realized he fancied her. After that, he spent every moment that they talked trying to charm her. But that didn't mean that he didn't consider her a friend. He told her plenty of stuff about his life, so long as it didn't incriminate him or his friends, and joked with her and wanted her happiness. That's what friends did. But he'd been so busy trying to be her friend he never really thought about her own feelings toward him. She basically admitted to hating him last year; how could he have forgotten that so easily?

"Fine," he said, getting ready to walk away. He had no idea why Madame Pomfrey hadn't shooed him away by now but he wasn't going to risk being there any longer. "If that's really how you feel then I won't bother you again. Sorry."

"Potter—"

"Don't worry about it, Evans. I get it. We're not friends and we don't have to be. We just tutor each other, it's not a big deal."

James stalked out of the room, determined to stop thinking about Lily Evans once and for all.

**A/N:** _Sorry this took so long. My only defense is I hate angst and this chapter was basically only angst. Ugh. Next chapter will be much happier, promise! As usual, thanks for all the reviews and love. You guys are the best. _

_ALSO, because I don't want anyone getting angry about it, Snape was NOT the one who attacked her. He wasn't even there. I might not like him very much, but even I can admit he'd never do that to Lily…_


	7. Of Mascara Tears and Failing Maps

**A/N: **_Happy Mother's Day to any mothers out there! And a happy mother's day to Lily, who didn't get enough time being a mother (oh no, I made myself sad)._

_Flashback takes place during fifth year._

**Chapter 7: Of Mascara Tears and Failing Maps**

"So there we were, running for our lives," James said, his voice strained from laughter, "when Sirius decides it would be a good idea to charm his sneakers to make him run faster." His arms were flailing enthusiastically as he tried to convey to his audience of Lily and the house elves just how hilarious the situation was.

"Oh, Merlin," Lily laughed. Her face was bright red and her eyes were clamped shut. "What happened then?"

"The idiot flung himself right into a wall. BOOM. Broken nose." This resulted in another burst of laughter from the listeners but James wasn't done yet. He waved them all down while trying to control his own chortles. "That's not even the best part! His shoes are still charmed, right? So before he even has a chance to properly pick himself off the floor he's off again. Shoots off down the hall and falls down the stairs, toppling Filch in the process."

At this point, James could no longer control himself. He banged his fist against the table he was sitting at and made huge, noiseless gasps. Several of the house elves stopped working entirely, as they were engrossed in the story. Lily was beside herself; her face, hidden behind her hands, shook violently and she was laughing so hard her shoulders were heaving with every breath.

"Then what, Mr. Potter, sir?" one of the elves asked.

"I did what any good friend would do," James said. "Got the hell out of dodge and made a break for it while Filch was distracted. Got away scot-free."

They all hooted with laughter once more.

"That's awful," Lily said but she was still far too jubilant for it to have any meaning. Mascara was running down her face.

"Eh, he would have done the same to me. Serves him right for being such a dumbass."

"How much trouble did he get in?"

"Only a week. Probably would have gotten less 'cuz Filch knew he didn't work alone but Sirius wouldn't rat me out like that."

"Even after you left him like that, he wouldn't tell on you?" Lily asked with wide eyes. James was having difficulty taking her seriously with her makeup all messed up.

"'Course. There's a code, Evans."

"Oh, right. The Marauder's code." She rolled her eyes. They grinned at each other while the house elves scurried off to continue their work.

"You got a bit of makeup," James said, pointing to her mascara-stained cheeks.

Lily looked down and began rubbing at her face. "Sorry," she squeaked. "You made me laugh so hard I started crying."

"I'm always here to entertain," he said solemnly.

"Is it better," she asked, looking up to meet his eyes. James made an effort not to laugh; she managed to make it even worse.

"Here," he said, pulling out his two-way mirror from his pocket and handing it to her.

"You keep a mirror in your pocket," she asked with raised eyebrows.

James froze. Of course she didn't know he had a mirror that let him talk to Sirius. Figuring it would be best to keep it that way, James shrugged and said, "It takes hard work to look _this_ good. Not everyone can look as flawlessly beautiful as you without any effort."

"Oh please," she said. James was pleased to note the blush that was creeping onto her face. "As if I look flawlessly beautiful right now." To prove her point, she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

James smirked. "Okay. Maybe not flawless." He used his sleeve to wipe her face but it didn't make any difference. "But certainly beautiful."

Lily looked at him with a small smile on her lips before she rolled her eyes and looked into the mirror. "You think you're so smooth," she said. She dunked a napkin into a cup of water and began rubbing her face with it.

"Aren't I?"

"Not at all."

"Fine. Then I'll never call you beautiful ever again."

"Hey, let's not do anything rash, now," Lily said. She brought her hand down from her face. The black was much less defined. "I guess this'll have to do for now," she sighed. "Thanks for the mirror."

"Anytime."

"I have a question." Her shoulders hunched and she wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Ermm," James said, taken aback by her sudden change in demeanor. "Okay…"

"I…well…" she stuttered nervously. James' imagination went off; he pictured her confessing her intense feelings for him and pushing him against the table, taking him then and there, house elves be damned. "I was wondering if you would teach me how to fly?"

"What?"

"It's just, I haven't been on a broom since first year and it looks like so much fun."

"And you figured you'd ask the best flier in the school," James said, puffing his chest out proudly. "Can't blame you."

"That's not… You're _alright_, I guess."

"Alright? I'm the best bloody quidditch player here! I'm definitely getting captain next year."

"Careful, Potter, your ego is showing."

"If I'm only alright, why would you bother asking me," James asked defiantly.

"Because out of all my friends, you're the best. Happy?"

James wasn't sure he heard her correctly. She had never, _never_ referred to them as friends before. He considered her to be a good friend but the few times the subject came up, she furiously denied any sort of permanent relationship between the pair.

"So we're friends, are we?"

"What? No. I just meant—people that I talk to. You are a person I talk to who happens to kind of know what he's doing on the quidditch pitch."

"You really are incapable of giving me a compliment, aren't you," he teased, ignoring the sinking feeling he felt in his stomach.

"You don't need anyone feeding your already oversized head."

"Ouch. Is that really any way to treat someone when you're asking for a favor?"

"It is when that person is you."

"You're real mean to me, Evans. Maybe I should say no just to teach you a lesson," James said, plucking his last treacle tart from his plate and shoving it in his mouth.

"Ah, but I happen to know you are incapable of turning down such a request," Lily said archly.

"And how would you know that?" James asked with his mouth full, making it sound more like _"an' 'ow woo' oo know 'at?"_

"Because you love quidditch and you love flying and you love me."

James stared at her blankly, his cheeks puffed out with treacle tart and his lips slightly pursed. He swallowed thickly, the treat a tad too sweet for him at the moment, and tried to organize his thoughts into something coherent.

Lily, for her part, looked perfectly calm, tracing the rim of her cup with a pinky. Her small smirk made James think she was only teasing him so he took a rather generous sip of pumpkin juice and forced his heart to calm down.

"Okay, you got me. I'll teach you how to fly. But you have to wait 'til after the game next week."

"I wouldn't expect anything else of our _star_ quidditch player."

"Don't mock me, Evans. I could always change my mind."

"Now why would you do that? I'm giving you an excuse to show off how talented you are."

"Quit being mean. And give me one your treacle tarts. I finished all mine." James reached for her plate but Lily swatted his hand away.

"Oi, you've had enough. It's not my fault you couldn't pace yourself properly. Plus, we wouldn't want our _star_ quidditch player getting sick from too many treacle tarts."

"Pleeeease," James begged, making puppy dog eyes at her. His begging face wasn't nearly as good as Sirius' and the glasses ruined the effect somewhat but it always seemed to work whenever he used it on Lily. "Just one?"

"Fine," Lily sighed. She dropped a tart into James open hands. "You're going to get sick, you know."

"That is a risk I am willing to take in the name of deliciousness."

**o0o0o0o**

James stumbled into the common room, sore and exhausted, after a brutal quidditch practice. His eyes swept over the mostly empty room, lingering at the warmly lit fire for a moment before resting on his friends tucked away in the corner. Their backs were all toward him and they were huddled over a small table. James wanted nothing more than to pass out in his bed but he knew their plans were far more important so he ambled over to them.

"What about instead of dots with their names, we think of a way to show what a person's doing," James heard Sirius suggest.

"Yeah," Peter agreed excitedly, nodding his round face enthusiastically. "Then we would know exactly what everyone was doing!"

"Don't you think that's a bit stalker-y," Remus asked.

"But think of this, Moony: we could watch girls take showers," Sirius said.

"There is something wrong with you," Remus said, shaking his head.

"You mean you wouldn't want to see a girl naked for once in your life?"

"You've never seen a naked girl either, Padfoot," James chimed in, plopping in the seat next to his best friend. There was a huge pile of sandwiches on the table next to a seemingly blank piece of parchment. James eagerly grabbed for one.

"Neither have you."

"I think it's safe to say," Remus said. "That none of us have ever seen a naked girl."

"Which is why we should use the map to—"

"We're not going to spy on people! The map is just to make sure we're safe," James said.

"Yeah, so you're telling me you wouldn't want to see Evans rubbing soap all over herself in the shower?" Sirius said. James looked down at his lap. He didn't tell his friends about the fight they had the other day; his pride was still too wounded to admit to it.

"Who's seeing me in the shower?"

The four boys whipped their heads around and blurted in unison, "No one!" That girl always had the worst timing. James reached over and pushed the map out of sight.

"Right… what are you up to?" Lily asked. Her face was cut-free and her skin looked pinker, less washed-out.

"Nothing," Remus said quickly. "So, they released you from the hospital wing?"

"Yeah, I just got out a few minutes ago."

"I'm glad," Remus said kindly. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you" she smiled.

"You look fantastic, as always," Sirius said.

"Thanks. Though I'm sure I'd look even better in the shower, right," Lily asked playfully.

"Obviously," Sirius replied without missing a beat. "That pretty much goes without saying."

"Why aren't you at dinner," Peter asked, waving a cucumber sandwich for emphasis.

"I already ate in the hospital wing," Lily said. "Plus, I think I need one more night of peace before I face the rest of Hogwarts. Apparently, everyone's been talking about what happened and I don't feel like dealing with all the rumors just yet."

"Do you need anything," Remus asked. "We have plenty of sandwiches."

"No, really, I just ate. But thank you."

She stood there in awkward silence for a moment, staring at James who was looking everywhere but at the pretty Gryffindor standing before him.

"Well," Sirius said, "we need to get back to business, so if you don't mind…"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you, Potter, for a moment," Lily asked hesitantly, looking wearily at James.

He really had no urge to talk to her but turning her down would be rude so he reluctantly agreed. When she didn't say anything more he said, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Can we talk in private?"

James looked at her, exasperated and annoyed, but shrugged in assent. As he rose out of his seat, Sirius nudged him and raised his brows suggestively, earning himself a slap in the back of the head from James.

Lily and James walked a few paces away from the boys before Lily turned to him. They were still well within earshot of the other marauders so James had no idea why he had to get up for the conversation but he played along.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize for the other day," Lily said.

"The other day," James asked, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Yeah, when we fought in the hospital wing. We both said some things and… I didn't mean to upset you."

He looked at her incredulously. Of all things to apologize for, she didn't mean to _upset _him? She wasn't taking back any of the things she said; she only regretted the way James reacted. The anger James was able to repress the few days she was injured began to bubble towards the surface, infecting his blood with a heat so strong he was surprised he hadn't burst into flames.

"It's not a big deal. You didn't upset me," he said with a forced calm.

"It seemed like it," Lily said, playing with the hem of her sleeves.

"You didn't," James repeated.

"You didn't come visit me after that. And, no offense to Marlene, but you're a much better note-taker. I could have done with them for my other classes."

"I was busy, sorry. Besides, you told me I shouldn't have taken notes for you…"

"Okay," she said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, I just want to make sure we're good."

"Yep," James said. "Never better."

"Good. I'm glad."

James glanced at his friends, who were all staring at him in shock. "Would you want to meet tomorrow to go over whatever you might need help with?"

"That'd be great," Lily said warmly.

"I can't exactly help you with Arithmancy but everything else is fair game."

"James Potter, you are a lifesaver."

He was a lifesaver. Not a friend, not someone Lily cared about, but a lifesaver.

"That's me. Lifesaver extraordinaire," James said, his voice overly cheerful. He hoped she couldn't tell how fake he sounded.

Lily laughed and it sent a jolt through James' body. He was frustrated that something as inane as her laughter still had such an effect on him. It wasn't even that nice of a laugh—loud and shrilly. Pretty annoying, really.

"We have Transfiguration tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we could meet with McGonagall after to talk about that tutoring thing you mentioned?" Lily said.

"I'm busy," he said shortly. Lily looked taken aback by his attitude. "Maybe you could talk to her yourself. I already know everything I need to about it so you can just tell her we'll do it and ask any questions you have."

"We can just go to her another time if you're busy. I don—"

"It's fine. We don't need to send two people just to accept."

"Okay," she said uneasily. "I thi—"

"Look, we were in the middle of something really important so I should probably get back to it."

"Talking about seeing me in the shower is important?" She was teasing him. Typical flirty, playful Lily behavior, saying something both suggestive and innocent. She was letting him know she honestly didn't care whatever she overheard them talking about; she was just joking around. Yet for some reason the familiarity she spoke with struck a nerve with James and his temper flared.

"You came at a bad time. It's important, secret marauder business and seeing as you are neither important nor a marauder, you should probably get going."

"Wow," Lily said with wide eyes. "Ouch."

"I'll see you tomorrow in the library," James said. He strode over to the table and sat back down in his seat, not even bothering to spare Lily a second glance. The four boys sat quietly, listening to the sound of Lily's shoes retreating up the stairs. They waited until they heard her door close before making any move to speak again.

"Anyway," James said. "Back to the map. We're not—"

"What the bloody hell was that," Sirius interrupted.

"What?"

"You practically bitchslapped Evans!"

"I didn't bitchslap her. I didn't even touch her."

"You didn't need to."

"Can we just get back to the map?"

"No way," Remus said. "Clearly we missed something."

"And as your very best mates, you're obligated to tell us," Sirius said.

"You do realize you sound like a bunch of girls, right?" James said.

"Irrelevant."

"You're changing the subject," Remus said.

"Did you and Evans get into a fight," Peter asked.

James sighed and hunched over, resting his head in his hands. "Yes," he said. "Evans basically said she doesn't like me and wouldn't care if something bad happened to me."

"Stop exaggerating," Remus said. "What happened?"

"I'm not exaggerating. She told me I shouldn't have visited her because she wouldn't have visited me if I almost bled to death."

"What the hell did you say to elicit that response?"

"I didn't do anything! I just asked her what happened and she went off on me!"

"She seemed fine when we visited her," Sirius said.

"Yeah, about that. Why did you guys go without me? You deliberately made me wake up late just so I wouldn't come with you."

Sirius shrugged. "Figured you would want to see her by yourself and it would have looked desperate if you visited twice in one day."

"Apparently I looked desperate regardless," James said bitterly.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow," Remus said.

"No, don't," James insisted. "It's not worth it. I'm over it."

"Yeah, sounds like you don't care at all," Remus said sarcastically. James glared at him.

"We are supposed to be working on the map. I didn't skip my usual half an hour post-quidditch bubble bath to talk about why Evans is the worst." The best part of being quidditch captain, other than the fact that when they won the cup (because they _would _win, James was sure of it) he would be responsible for it, was that he had access to the Prefects' bathroom. There was nothing quite like relaxing in that huge bathtub after a long practice.

"Ew, you didn't bathe," Sirius asked, scrunching his nose and shifting away from James.

"I took a crappy shower. Trust me, you would know if I didn't wash up after practice."

"Oh, we know," Sirius said. "All too well."

"Remember how you didn't want to use the locker room showers your first few weeks on the team," Remus laughed. "Ugh, I thought you were going to kill us."

"Nearly did kill Wormtail," Sirius said. "I thought he was going to pass out when you shoved his nose into your nasty pits."

"I still stand that it was uncalled for," Peter said.

"You told me I smelled bad," James defended.

"Which you did," Remus said.

"What is this? Gang up on James week?"

"Nah," Sirius said, flicking his hair back with a jerk of his head. "That's every week."

"You know, we'd run the risk of seeing Snape in the shower," Remus said, bringing the conversation back to the map.

There was a pause as each marauder tried to push the image out of their minds.

"Dots it is then," Sirius said.

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

With the map newly finished, the four pranksters decided to give it a test run. They had to retreat into their dorm room once students came back from dinner and then waited in there until the map declared the common room empty. They took note where McGonagall and the two heads were patrolling and slipped out of the common room without James' invisibility cloak. Remus tried to argue to bring it just in case something went wrong but James was so confident in their work, he refused to listen.

It was meticulous work, jinxing every suit of armor in the castle. The fear of waking any of the paintings warranted them to walk slowly and quietly, a feat the boys were not quite capable of.

"Why don't we split up," Peter whispered. "It would go faster."

"We only have one map," James said.

"Oh yeah."

"It wouldn't be taking so long if you could get the spell right," Sirius said.

"I'm trying. It's a lot harder than you guys make it look."

"No worries," James said. "We have all night and the map will keep us safe. Just focus on getting it right."

They continued down the corridor, stopping at each knight to dress them up and charm them to start singing in the morning. It was a favorite of theirs, especially since James figured out a way to keep the spells intact until the correct password is spoken. This time they used, "hasta manana, say we'll meet again." They found it appropriate as the armor were being forced to sing songs from some muggle band Sirius loved named ABBA and they had plans to do it again in a few months.

Remus was just putting a wig on one when he stilled, his arms in midair. "Did you hear that?"

"I didn't hear anything," Peter said nervously.

"Prongs has been checking the map," Sirius said. "He would have warned us if someone was coming."

"Yeah," James said, glancing at the map once more. "Christine is still two floors away. We have time."

"I could have sworn I heard someone coming down the stairs," Remus said.

"You're just paranoid," Sirius said. "Hurry up if you're so nervous."

Remus hastily threw the wig onto the armor, not bothering to straighten it when it fell lopsidedly on the helmet. The dimly lit halls cast harsh shadows on his face, highlighting his scars and aging him quite a bit.

"Guys? A little help?" Peter squeaked. James turned around to find Peter's arm trapped in the fist of the armor he was trying to jinx.

"How did you manage that one," Sirius laughed.

"I dunno," Peter said, pushing against the armor in attempt to free himself. "I can't get out now."

"Alright, Prongs, you keep watch. Moony and I'll free him," Sirius said.

Sirius and Remus set to work; Remus held the arm, ready to pull it away from Peter while Sirius tried to pry the fingers apart. They weren't even pretending to keep their voices down as Peter made a scene about how he was going to spend the rest of his life stuck to the armor and Sirius kept letting out a string of curse words. James anxiously kept his eyes glued to the map, all too aware of how much noise his friends were making but no one seemed to have heard them.

"Well, well, what have we here?"

James froze in horror as Filch's clammy voice flooded the hall. He scanned the map, desperately trying to find Filch's dot but it wasn't there. "Mischief Managed," he muttered quickly before shoving the parchment in his pocket.

"Oh, you know," Sirius said. "Just hanging around. Trying to rescue a friend. Same old business."

"That's the fourth time I've caught you this year," Filch said proudly. "Dumbledore'll have you up in chains when I tell him."

James caught Sirius' eye and made a face. Filch was constantly threatening to hang them by their toes in the dungeons but hadn't yet followed through with that particular punishment.

"Come with me," Filch said gleefully. "I'll write you all up."

"About that," Sirius said. "Peter can't follow you. He's stuck."

Filch eyed the plump boy with malice. "So cut his arm off."

Peter squealed, frantically trying to pull his arm out of the armor's stubborn clutches. As Filch began to advance on him, James panicked and shot a severing spell on the armor. There was a loud boom and a burst of smoke. Property damage was going to cost him at least an extra detention.

"RUN," Sirius yelled. The four boys shot off down the hall, sprinting for their lives, the detached hand of the armor still clinging to Peter's forearm.

"You realize Filch knows who we are," Remus wheezed once they made it to the safety of the common room. "He'll still write us up."

"So?" Sirius said. "Did you see his face?"

"Priceless," James added. He felt a bit guilty getting detention just days after McGonagall praised him but he wasn't going to let that affect him. "Something's wrong with the map, though. Filch didn't show up on it."

"Damn," Sirius said. "I really thought we had it this time."

"Can't we worry about that another time?" Peter asked, waving his armor-bound arm around. "I can't feel my fingers!"

**J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L J&amp;L**

"Are you _sure_ you want to go," Sirius asked for the hundredth time that evening. James was getting ready to meet Lily in the library and was growing more and more frustrated with his friends, who were clearly against the idea.

"Yes," James said, hand still on the doorknob. "I'm sure."

"We still have loads to work on with the map though," Remus said. "Are you really choosing Lily over the map?"

"I'm not choosing Lily over anything!" James snapped. "I promised her I would help her tonight and it'd be a dick move to cancel on her now. It's not like I'll be any help with the map, anyway. Until we figure out what went wrong there's nothing I can do. And I can just as easily think of reasons in the library as I can with you lot."

"But I'll miss you," Sirius said.

"Ok, did I miss something? You guys are always pushing me and Lily together. Why don't you want me to go?"

Peter, who had been strategically quiet, unwilling to choose a side in the argument, looked down at his hands and began twiddling his thumbs.

"We just think it'd be more… prudent if you waited a bit before you saw Evans again," Remus said.

"More prudent?"

"You nearly bit the girl's head off last time," Sirius said.

"Maybe you need more time to cool off," Remus added.

"I am perfectly cool," James insisted. "I'll see you later. Work on that map."

James strode out of their dorm, slamming the door behind him. His backpack, filled to the brim with his textbooks, cut into his shoulders as he made his way to the library. He was determined to show everybody that Lily's words had no effect on him.

Lily was waiting for him at their usual table, her hair sloppily piled on the top of her head. She looked through a stack of notes laid out in front of her as she absent-mindedly twirled a loose tendril of hair.

"Hey," James greeted as he took a seat opposite her. She looked up and a huge, beautiful smile bloomed across her face.

"Hey," she said. "I wasn't sure if you were coming."

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I can't help but feel like you're mad at me."

"Nope," James said, unzipping his backpack slowly. "Not mad. So, do you have any questions about any of the notes?"

"Erm, yeah," Lily said. She rummaged through the mass of notes before finding the page she was interested in. "I was wondering if we could start with Defense first?"

"Sure."

Their conversation stayed solely on academics. They managed to get through DADA fairly quickly—with very little additional input from James—before moving over to potions. There were a few times where Lily tried to make a joke or bring up a story but James was already giving up his own time merely to help her and he wasn't in any mood to talk about anything other than school.

"Can we meet up tomorrow to go over charms and transfiguration? I thought it'd be easier to save those two for last," Lily asked as she started to put her things away.

"I have quidditch tomorrow so I can't."

"Oh. Well, I know we both have free together so we could always meet then."

"I have plans already."

"Okay. Maybe we can figure out another day while we snack on treacle tarts? I haven't had one in ages."

"Sorry, I'm meeting with my friends in a few. I can try to meet with you in two days. We can go to the kitchens another time," James said, having no intention of ever going to the kitchens with her again.

Lily sighed. "Potter, I already apologized. What more do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you, Evans," James said. "Really, I don't. We're not friends and that's fine but I put my friends above everything else. So I'm not going to cancel on them just because you want to sneak into the kitchens. You don't need me to do that."

"Grow up, Potter. Just because I don't worship you—like you seem to think everyone else at this school does—doesn't mean you have to be all pissy with me."

"I'm not mad at you, Evans. I understand what you said the other day, okay? I never really knew what you meant when you would say we weren't friends but now I do. And I'm acting accordingly, which is what you want. Isn't it?"

"No. Yes." Lily closed her eyes and shook her head briefly. "You're right. You're absolutely right. We don't have to go to the kitchens. But if you don't mind, I'd actually like to talk to you about my meeting with Professor McGonagall today."

James pushed out his chair and stood up. "We can walk and talk, I suppose."

"Great," Lily said, hopping out of her chair. "So, I told her we were interested in doing it and she gave me a bunch of forms we have to fill out to get it officiated and then I have a list of students who need help. We have to get students to sign up to tutor them but I can do that no problem. We should probably give the sign-up sheets about a week before we start pairing students up."

"Sounds good."

"I asked her loads of questions so if you need to know anything you can just come to me for help."

"Okay, thanks Evans."

Their footsteps echoed eerily throughout the halls after the discussion died off. Lily made a few attempts at small talk but they all fell flat. It was a relief when they finally reached the common room.

"I'll see you around," Lily said.

"Bye," James said curtly, heading straight to his room to go see people who actually appreciated his presence.

**A/N: **_It's been over a month! I am SO sorry. I must have re-written this chapter at least 3 times. Thanks for all the love and support! _


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